Balls and Walnuts
more than you ever wanted to know
Tacoma live blogging um sort of
Note to the wise: martini on empty stomach hits like wrecking ball. Can three slices of buttered sour dough bread save me? We’ll see.
I’m at the Sea Grill restaurant munching mussels in a saffron cream sauce. Yummy. I walked here, didn’t drive, so if I get a bit tipsy I’m only a risk to other pedestrians.
***
What possessed me to order crab? Where I live, we get probably the freshest (and cheapest) crab in the country. Tonight’s entree wasn’t bad, but it pains the son-of-a-Depression Era-father to know I could have had better, cheaper, at home. But dammit I had a yen for crab.
***
I’ve been walking off the martini and I’m feeling fine.
Tacoma on a Wednesday night: not lively. I found a couple of open Kwik E Marts and I went to the second one for my toothpaste and bottled water (yah, I’m one of those freaks who won’t drink tap water). Guy asked me, “Anything else?” and I said, “Yeah, got any floss?”
“Sure,” he said. “Really clean.”
. . . Which cracked me up.
“Single use. Ten cents a pack.” He added, “My wife’s idea. She’s a genius.”
So’s mine, but she never thought to sell dental floss ten cents a tiny pack.
***
Not only does this hotel offer a Pillow Menu, it also gives me a Spiritual Menu. I am not shittin’.
We are here to provide you with choices
- The Bhagavad Gita
- Book of Mormon
- Books on Buddhism
- The Holy Bible King James Version
- The Koran (various versions)
- New American Bible
- Tao Te Ching (various versions)
- The Torah (various versions)
Touch the “Help Me” button on your phone and we will bring up your book of faith.
Should I be obnoxious and ask for Darwin’s Origin of Species?
***
I’m going to draw a hot bath and read my book. Kate will be pleased to hear that I’m nearing the end of Judith Ivory’s Black Silk. This one didn’t grab me until about page 150, but now I’m convinced. There’s an unusual depth to these characters. Anyway, that’s it for now, folks.
D.
…so if I get a bit tipsy I’m only a risk to other pedestrians.
I guess you’ve never heard the old joke about the guy that walks into a bar…
no tequelia
glad i aint in ws lol
rdb, I wish you were here. For you, I’d even avoid the tequila.
Dan, seems to me if the guy’s walking INTO the bar, he’s already had too many.
Figured you’d catch that…
The one I like, though, is where the guy is in a bar at the base level of a several story building. He tells another patron that if you go to the top of the building and jump off, the wind will pick you up and swoosh you safely back into the bar.
The other guy doesn’t believe him.
So, the first guy goes up to the top of the building, jumps off and, swoosh, lands safely back in the bar.
So, the other guy decides to give it a try.
He, of course, falls to his death.
The bartender tells the first guy, “You’re a mean drunk, Superman.”
It’s funny because it’s true!
Phew. My work for Ivory is done at last.
Speaking of converting the unbelievers, I love the choice of books of faith. That’s fantastic and would make me want to move to the area. I mean how many hotels in say Texas would do that? Not that I’m picking on Texas mind you.
Happy chocolate pudding day. How’d the actual interview sort of thing go?
post comment comment: My comma button isn’t working right. And to be honest, I was picking on Texas.
I thought that in Texas a guy with a shootin’ iron came in around bedtime and made you read Revelations?
Should I be obnoxious and ask for Darwin’s Origin of Species?
Ask why they have forsaken Ra and demand a copy of the Papyrus of Ani in its original hieroglyphics!
Interview went well, I think. The doc spent nearly an extra hour with me at lunch. Hopefully that’s a good sign.
Dean: I hesitate to ask what that shootin’ iron is for.
Dan: just as long as no one reads the Necronomicon . . .
Bruce Campbell Fact #289: Bruce Campbell killed Jimmy Hoffa with his chainsaw arm.
Shop Smart. Shop S-Mart!
lol…
i actually really like the idea of a Spiritual menu!! so much better than just assuming everyone wants a bible.
Listen up, you primitives. This is my boom stick.
“Look, maybe I didn’t say every tiny syllable, no. But basically I said them, yeah.”
Shaina: but they STILL have a damned Gideons Bible in the room!
ps, dcr: Klaatu Barada Nihak-hak-hak!
When did bruce campbell turn into chuck norris?