Balls and Walnuts
more than you ever wanted to know
To boldly die
For $799, your ashes can be stored in this beautiful urn:
I may be weird (shut up) but this appeals to me. It’s like one of those big mirror balls you put in your garden; I’ve always wanted one of those, too. I figure it would make for countless hours of entertainment, watching hummingbirds attack their reflections.
More to the point, I DON’T want to be put in the ground, even if it is in a photon torpedo (linked above).
The STAR TREK Casket styling has been inspired by the popular “Photon Torpedo†design seen in STAR TREK II: The Wrath of Khan.
Way too confining. Deep down, I suspect I may be claustrophobic even in death. Burn me to ash and toss me to the winds! But leave a little for the cool urn.
Sometimes, I think I want to be mulched. Run me through a wood chipper and put the Walnut-slaw around the base of a middle-aged Sequoia, preferably in the middle of an untouchable national park. Yosemite, for example. The Republicans wouldn’t dare drill Yosemite for oil. Then I could become part of some massive tree which would stand erect for centuries to come.
That’s what I want to become in death — a humongous lingam!
How about you?
D.
P.S. We’re home. Six hour drive today, and I did most of it.
Full Balls and Walnuts services should resume tomorrow. Thank you for your patience.
No, no, no! Don’t leave your ashes lying uselessly around in some dust collecting kotchke! No – the answer is LifeGem!
A quote from http://www.lifegem.com:
What is a LifeGem®?
The LifeGem® is a certified, high-quality diamond created from the carbon of your loved one as a memorial to their unique life, or as a symbol of your personal and precious bond with another.
When my grandmother passed away, I was quite interested in doing this until I saw the prices. I like the concept of having a permanent memento that contains a part of someone. The Victorians did lots of that with hair taken from lovers and relatives (dead and alive) and woven/knotted into designs for brooches, watch fobs, etc. (For modern day versions go to http://www.victorianhairjewelry.com/).
I like the diamond idea better than the hair!
Oh, for me – cremation! Crisp and clean!
what ever happen to tupperware
kira: diamonds are so passé. Now, if they could turn me into a ruby . . .
rdb: lol. Tupperware! “Honey, I used some of that ground coffee you had in the pantry, but it just doesn’t taste right!”
Hehehehe (Beavis and Butthead voice)
You said ‘Full Balls’.
hehehehehehe
I don’t want to go into the ground either, and the claustrophobia (even in death) is an issue
for me as well. I have also thought of ashes scattered somewhere…with a good view.
Dean: that I did.
Sis: I fully expect you to outlive your two brothers, so you had better tell someone who will be around to honor your wishes 🙂
Oh, and thanks for the cartoons!