Balls and Walnuts
more than you ever wanted to know
I’ve won a major prize!
Dear Walnut,
I am delighted to inform you that your poem “Confessions of a Teenaged Angstwolf” has been awarded our prestigious Editor’s Choice Award because it displays an original perspective and unique creativity — judged to be the qualities found most in exceptional poetry. Congratulations on your achievement!
Click on the quoted title to see the poem, as well as all the wonderful books and plaques I can receive — for a price. They go on:
If you would like to order the deluxe hardbound anthology in our Immortal Verses Series, featuring your poem “Confessions of a Teenaged Angstwolf” on an entire page by itself, please make your selections below.
Curious why I wrote this loathsome piece of doggerel? Here’s the background story.
Immortal verses, indeed.
D.
You’d have made a great Vogon. And you have the legs for it, too.
Your own personal ‘Atlanta Nights’!
I wonder if it is possible to write a poem bad enough that poetry.com wouldn’t publish it. I mean, short of actually putting offensive material, like blatant racism, in it.
I’ve run into that sort of cocksucker myself.
Why thank you, microsoar. The destruction of your puny planet will commence in three minutes.
Dean, good question. I wasn’t trying to test their boundaries, really, I wasn’t! It was all a part of some other scam. In order to get something for free (can’t remember what it was, and no, I never got it), I had to sign on to three other scams. Poetry.com was one of them.
Erin, I remember that viddy well.
loathsome? I beg to differ.
It rings …. deep inside. I feel it. Deep. Paula Nancy Millstone Jennings has NOTHING on you.
I know it’s wrong to gush over one’s own work, but I truly love that poem. Take that first stanza: I even misspelled ‘O’. It’s a masterwork of badness.
Ah, a poem for the ages! I actually really like that last stanza about “the tolled bell.” Awesome!
My father used to actually believe it when he got a notification that his poetry was going to be in a great book that was coming out (he submitted poems he wrote when he was young) and he could have the book for only $39.95 – or whatever it was.
“A major prize.” Love it – reminds me of “A Christmas Story” and the lamp made of a lady’s leg in fishnet stockings…
mg: I had “A Christmas Story” in mind. Good pickup.