Balls and Walnuts
more than you ever wanted to know
If you blew off Steak and BJ day, don’t fret
You can still make it up to your disappointed man.
He waited all year for this day, and what did you do? Fixed him vegie burgers and gave him a kiss on the cheek good night. Maybe you didn’t understand his crestfallen expression; maybe you didn’t realize he had abstained from caffeine and alcohol and had been eating nothing but pineapple for the last three days. Maybe you didn’t notice the two inch-and-a-half-thick rib eye steaks he’d left in the fridge along with the note, TONIGHT’S THE NIGHT!!!!! And maybe you thought it was an accident that someone had changed your homepage to this one — on Firefox, Netscape, and Internet Explorer.
You don’t even use Internet Explorer.
So, now that you see the error of your ways, you want to do something to put your relationship back on track, and you don’t think you can afford to wait until any of those other holidays. What will you do?
Simply tell him, yes, you knew all about March 14, but you figured he would much rather celebrate April 14.
Scampi & Buttsechs Day: when you care enough about your man to give him the best of everything.
Feel free to grab that image and broadcast this far and wide. Tell your friends! Tell your mom! You know dad wants it.
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Live blogging tonight, 7 PM PST.
D.
P.S. This survey cracked me up. They asked men and women what semen and vaginal secretions tasted like. With respect to vaginal secretions, one woman said,
“Around the clitoris, it tastes like sweet tarts. In the vaginal canal, it tastes kind of like an artichoke tuna salad.”
Mmmkay, could you get more specific?
That’s very open-minded of you, Doug. So, will you be helping Karen pick out a harness, or do you want it to be a surprise?
Wait… That isn’t what you meant?
ps, in the D/s scene, strap-ons are so last month. If you don’t believe me, maybe you’ll believe Bitchy Jones.
To each their own, right? 😉
Besides, unlike Steak & BJ Day, this seemed like something that could more readily go either way, as it were…
Perhaps a coin-flip could be a traditional feature of S & BS Day?
It certainly puts the question “Heads or tails?” in a new light…
Notice how it’s just you & me here, ps? Methinks no else wants any part of this one . . .
scampi and buttsex. Yep. I love your holidays. I think if this ear and booger thing falls apart, you can design holidays. (thanks for the link to me. I want to go back and match the proper foods now. Make menus! Too bad I’m too lazy)
The whole page about semen flavor, so earnest so standard. SO just like sweat scent articles..
and one should always yank of the shrimp tails for scampi. It’s not finger food and it’s pain in the, um, butt to have fish around in the garlic butter sauce chasing after shell bits.
although maybe leave ’em on for this particular day.
I always yank off the tails. HOWEVER, if you can find shrimp with the heads on, the heads are a delight. Tear ’em off and suck delicious fat out of the yummy heads —
Oops! Wrong holiday!
Saw this and thought of you. Well, I mean, I figured you’d appreciate it. The video.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5_kbkwCwut4