Balls and Walnuts
more than you ever wanted to know
Hell always sounded more interesting anyway
I mean, really, how horrible is this?
The Vatican has added seven new deadly sins:
accumulating obscene wealth*
polluting the environment
genetic engineering
drug dealing
abortion
paedophilia**
causing social injustice
I get nailed on genetic engineering: 1983-1997, here and there. I dabbled. None of my victims lived to squeak talk about it. Of course, they already had me dead to rights on Lust,
“Be gentle with me,” I said. “I’m a lot younger than you.”
“Doesn’t matter,” she purred. “You’re an animal.”
Raquel was twenty-seven, I was five. She changed my life forever.
When it comes to losing one’s soul, a child can do a lot worse. Anyway, it occurred to me the Vatican had left out a few deadly sins. I would add,
Destroying families by stealing from trust funds, wrecking their mortgages, etc.
Not bathing for weeks before seeing your doctor.
Bumping into and knocking over handicapped people in public places because you’re too caught up in your own personal drama to notice there’s a LITTLE WOMAN WITH A CANE RIGHT THERE IN FRONT OF YOU. (That one really pisses me off.)
Care to add a few?
D.
* From the comments at the Sydney Morning Herald story, linked above:
Did i just read that the Vatican have made accumulating obscene wealth a sin ?
Hmmmm, thats exactly what i thought the Vatican have done for the last 100 years.
Hmmmm, 100 years? But, yeah, that was our reaction, too.
** Um. Ditto.
i’d add, referencing a peter cook/dudley moore film without linking or naming such.
whoops. my bad. never mind.
What, I need MORE reasons to go to hell?
How about “texting with both hands while driving”?
Talking on a cell phone at inappropriate places (at your table at a restaurant, in the library, etc.) and/or at too loud a volume.
Pat: sounds like a good way to expedite the trip to hell, too.
fiveandfour: or in the movies, the doctor’s office . . .
picking your nose and wiping it on the wall and then lying to your mother so she can’t figure out it was you that did it so she has to clean it (and that stuff takes off the paint).
Should be at the top of the list.
Making “Baby Jesus On A Stick” s’mores.
Oh, and being Dick Cheney. There’s got to be something hellworthy there.
But it occurs to me…is Heaven worth it if there’s no Lust there?
I’m just sayin’…
Hence the title of this post 🙂
How about texting with both hands while driving a city bus AND then when the little woman a few seats back (me) screams at the driver because he swerves over a double yellow line, he refuses to pick her up at any bus stop thereafter. He should go straight to hell and stay there.