Balls and Walnuts
more than you ever wanted to know
Writing
On the way to work, I thought of — well, not an opening paragraph. Not even an opening sentence. A clause.
On the morning of the day of her alien abduction,
Strangely enough, I could still remember those words when I got home this evening. I fired up the computer, figuring I would finish the sentence and save it to a new file. I finished the sentence, then started another, which turned out to be a longish one . . .
The morning of Lisa O’Keown’s alien abduction was much like any other morning. She pounded on Cyrus’s bedroom door to get him up, dished out some Gerber’s Peaches ‘n Cream for Billy Ray, picked the lock on Cyrus’s door, dropped the fourteen-year-old’s backpack on his sleeping groin (not all of him was asleep, she noted), loaded Mama’s whites into the dryer, cleaned Peaches ‘n Cream spit-up off Billy Ray’s shirt, brushed her hair, ate some dry wheat toast while wondering how her ass managed to stay so huge even on a sixteen hundred calorie diet, dodged Cyrus’s Pre-Algebra book, and broke up with her boyfriend, Henry Davies.
Granted, the breaking-up part of her day was a novelty, although not as much of a novelty as the alien abduction part, but she didn’t know about that yet. Just that by noon, she figured this had to be the worst day of her life, ever. (and so forth)
. . . and before I knew it, I had written over 1200 words.
No, I don’t know where I’m going with this. All I know is what I’ve already told you. I don’t even know if I can finish one chapter in this same voice. I’m not even sure where this voice is coming from — is it authentic Muse, or am I ripping someone off without realizing it? (Trust me, you would need to see more to get the flavor.) And I really don’t know if Gerber’s sells Peaches ‘n Cream baby food!
Blueberry Buckle. That was my favorite as a baby; I can remember the taste.
I’ll keep you posted.
D.
conjunction junction , whats your function…LOL…i really enjoyed his post…refreshing, even if i do type w 2 fingers
My 12-year-old’s a two-finger typist, RDB. Or maybe not. He certainly doesn’t type the Mavis Beacon way. Somehow, he managed to teach himself how to type without any of that “home field” stuff, and he types pretty damned fast. I still don’t know how he does it!
Thanks 🙂
Nope, no Peaches & Cream. Here’s a link – http://www.gerber.com/prodcat?catid=496
It’s an awesome start, and I love the voice!
Yeah, I’m down with the voice, too. It reads like proper Hoffman. I’d probably be able to pick it out of a lineup.
Billy Ray and Cyrus! Hah! I laughed in my mouth a little.
Blueberry buckle! Bless me, I’d forgotten all about that! I used to swipe jars of that to snack on when my brother was a baby. You’re right–it was the best. It must have been if I can remember it 35+ years later.
I like this opening…a WHOLE lot…go with the Blueberry Buckle…I liked that stuff too. Good times…did you like the Zwiback (I can’t recall how it’s spelled);it was for teething babies, but I liked it too.
The important thing is, I’m writing (something other than this blog). I wish I had the discipline to send out the romance to more agents and publishers, or the commitment to go back and finish editing the trilogy, but I can’t seem to find the motivation.
Tam, thanks for the link and the support. Blueberry Buckle still exists. I had to search the Gerber site to find it, but there it is, under desserts. Great! It’s such a great name — alliterative, great rhythm. I’ll bet Carl Sandburg named it for the Gerber people when he was a baby poet.
Dean, great. So I’m only ripping off MY style. That’s fair game.
EJ, you’ve delurked! Welcome. Yeah, pretty strange the crap we remember from our toddlerhoods. But at least this stuff was GOOD crap.
Sis, thanks. Blueberry Buckle it is. Zweiback — I think M. must have been off the stuff when I was little. On the other hand, I can remember how it tastes, so perhaps you’re right. You may recall that I teethed on my wooden bed frame, which I suspect was a lot more effective than Zweiback.
Excellent beginning! I’m hooked already – finish the story, I will buy it immediately upon publication!
Zweiback was in the house when you were a baby, and didn’t our brother do his teething on the bed frame too?
I like the idea a lot. You can do a lot with this.
Let the muse ride free.
M
thanks, Michelle!
Not as good a writing day today, I’m afraid. I had to plant three six-foot-tall junipers, and the effort exhausted me (those are three BIG holes in wet ground full of ivy roots, many of which I had to cut through using branch cutters).
Now I’m just hangin’.