Balls and Walnuts
more than you ever wanted to know
Innards
First things first. Anyone undergoing major surgery* needs to set his affairs in order. I took care of it this morning.
Next, a brief video explanation of the problem.
And finally, photos from the procedure . . . below the cut.
Here’s the “before.” I can’t show you the “after” because it’s all bandaged up.
You’re looking at a solid wall of muscle. No, you can’t see the hernia, but it’s located right above my navel.
Here I am on the morning of surgery. Aside from my family, exactly one person got the joke.
I know no fear because I’m wearing my Invincible Bikini Briefs.
And now for the good stuff. GUTS! Don’t ask me what you’re looking at; I’m not a general surgeon.
More guts!
Here I am post-op. I understand it took six burly nurses to hold me down — something about me kicking, biting, and twisting nipples, all whilst quoting Nietzsche — until someone managed to inject me with elephant tranquilizer. The pillows are for my protection.
I’m feeling fine now, thanks. A little sleepy, but that’s because I didn’t get my morning coffee. I should be fine and dandy for live blogging tomorrow night.
D.
*Major surgery = any operation wherein I am the patient.
Looks like you made it through okay. Due to the fact that I don’t have speakers that work, I couldn’t appreciate your explanation. Love the shirt.
I hope that’s mesh I see in the second surgery picture, or they stuffed micropore into your gut.
(recite in sing-song voice) They-shaaaved-your-belll-yyyy! Hee hee…
P.S.: I think the undies told them you were expendable.
Well, there’s hope for the world yet. The Trekkies haven’t reached critical mass.
(OK,as individuals, some of them are pretty damn close to it.)
So, how many razors did they go through?
I’m glad it went well, and I want that shirt because I suspect it would go over like a lead balloon where I work.
(Laughing at sxKitten’s razor joke) yuk yuk yuk Glad to hear you are okay. Hope this one last longer than the last one.
Ooooh, that’s gonna itch!
Glad to hear you’re okay.
*hurts* *to* *laugh*
You guys crack me up.
Actually, it’s not hurting. Much. The hiccups and the itching is the worst part so far.
Oh, no, not the Hiccups and the Itching!
That’d make a great name for a band. The Hiccups and the Itching.
Hope you’re feeling better soon, Doug.
Get Well Soon!!!
Dean, might I suggest Itchy and the Hiccups? Has a more 60s ring to it, I think.
Thanks, y’all 😉
60’s? Fuck that, this is the 00’s. “The Hiccups and the Itching” it will be. Electric dijeridoo, two bagpipes, a French horn, and some vocals.
Take the opportunity to lie on the couch and sigh until Jake is guilted into bringing you things.
Ok…I actually got the joke the minute I saw the pic, but then after spendinging 13 yrs. as a Paramedic I have an overdeveloped sence of very morbid humor. I am very pleased all went well for you… get well quickly I miss being “pestered”.
Later, TR.
Only one person got it? What’d they do, spend their TV life watching Price is Right?
Get healed up soon!
Ok Ok it worked jeez…LOL. I am back ranting as usual. Read it but I would not suggest it with morning coffee. Peace…TR
Love the shirt. We wear maroon shirts at work, but refer to ourselves as “red shirts” – yes, security guarding has a big nerd contingent 😉
You went to surgery with leopard print jockey’s on?? You wanted to give the staff a great giggle then? Be the object of fantastic gossip? How delightful!!
Tee-shirt is brilliant. Must get for the Husband.
Didn’t expect the guts shots. Thanks for that. I’ll remember to read first before clicking the below the fold button. I thought people would bleed a whole lot more…
Get better soon! OH, and why remove a white scar thing only to be left with a bigger scar?