Balls and Walnuts
more than you ever wanted to know
Grumpy old men
So a new patient storms out of the waiting room before he ever signs his paperwork. In fact, that’s the precipitating factor for his hissy fit — “MY LAWYER TOLD ME TO NEVER SIGN ANYTHING!” After cussing out my office staff (yes, he was verbally abusive), growling, fussing, and fuming for several minutes, he leaves.
And I think: Cool. This problematic, unpleasant dude weeds himself out before he becomes my patient.
And that’s the coolest thing about this situation: he’s not my patient. I have no doctor-patient relationship with him. I can talk about him all I like, and I’m not violating confidentiality rules. Not that there’s much to say; you’ve heard the whole story.
I suppose I should be more compassionate about this situation. Maybe he really does need an ENT. Maybe he’s too senile to understand why his doctor sent him here, or maybe his doctor is an uncommunicative cuss who never told the patient why he (the doc) made the referral. Maybe this old guy will experience untold suffering as a result of missing today’s visit.
Call me a heel, but all I see is one less headache.
***
Here’s a dirty joke for you.
This husband and wife have always had sex with the lights off. Pitch dark, that’s how he likes it, and she has been happy to oblige.
Lately, however, she has begun to wonder — why all the secrecy? What’s he hiding from me? So one night, in the midst of a good rogering, she reaches up and turns on the end table lamp — and finds him holding a dildo!
“A dildo,” she says.
“Ah, yup,” he says.
“Is that why we’ve always had sex with the lights off?”
“Ah, yup.”
“Would you like to tell me why?”
“Sure,” he says, “when you explain how we got three kids.”
D.
Me: Hahaha!
sxKitten: Hahaha!
I’m now suspicious of men from Maine. I’m sure that wasn’t your intention, but, well, there it is.
So, let me get this straight. The old guy went to the doctor but he wasn’t going to sign any paperwork. I guess that was the first joke you told and the dildo/lights out was the second. I can’t remember but don’t you have to sign now and say you have read HIPA or received HIPA or are the HIPA? I agree, Doug, you are the asshole eliminator, without even trying. You saved yourself a lawsuit. He was already quoting his attorney. That is a bad sign.
My feelings exactly, CD.