Way too much information

Kris sent this to me. Since I’m supposed to send it on to a few other friends, it certainly qualifies as a meme (technically, it’s a chain email). But why send it to a few people when I can blast all of you with it?

Renee preempts everyone else. Sorry, folks, but if you post sex toy pics in vivo, that deserves recognition!

Shaina’s the first to play.

Lyvvie the technical first digs BLTs, Men’s Health, and urine-soaked children

SxKitten lurves the pretty-colored stones, too

Dean likes his ice cream chocolatey

Like Dean, microsaur hates the Stupids

Pat’s not playing, but he is such a rocker

If you want to play, cut and paste it to your own blog, then change all the answers.

Now, here’s the interesting question, in my opinion. This Q&A is supposed to help you learn more about me. But since you already know everything there is to know about me, is it possible for you to know me better afterwards? *scratches head*

Here we go.

1. What time did you get up this morning? What with Daylight Savings Time, just before 8.

2. Diamonds or Pearls? Sapphires > Emeralds > Rubies > Diamonds > Pearls. Except for pearl necklaces. They rule.

3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? Eragon. *sticks finger down throat*

4. What is your favorite TV show? At present, Rome. Before that, Dexter. Before that, Dead Like Me.

5. What did you have for breakfast? Pepperidge Farm cookies.

6. What is your middle name? Scott.

7. What is your favorite cuisine? Assuming superb preparation, Italian.

8. What foods do you dislike? Most fast food.

9. Your favorite Potato chip? Salt & Vinegar, unless we’re counting Cheetos.

10. What cd have you been listening to lately? Gogol Bordello. Need you ask?

11. What kind of car do you drive? Toyota Camry.

12. Favorite sandwich? Hot pastrami, but only the good stuff.

13. What characteristics do you despise? Hypocrisy, egocentrism, humorlessness.

14. What are your favorite clothes? Jeans and cotton shirts or tee shirts.

15. If you would go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go?
Right now I have a yen to visit the Bay Area. More than anything else, I like to hang out with friends.

16. Favorite brand of clothing? Eddie Bauer.

17. Where would you want to retire? Portland or Seattle.

18. Favorite time of day? Evening.

19. Where were you born? In a hospital. Jeez — now you’re getting into those personal identification questions. Next thing you know, you’ll be asking for my mother’s maiden name.

20. What is your favorite sport to watch? I despise most sports on TV, but I do like watching female ice skaters. Wonder why?

21. Who do you think will not send this back? Irrelevant question since I’m not sending this to anyone. If you like the meme, pick it up.

22. Person you expect to send it back first? Huh?

23. Pepsi or Coke? Dr. Pepper. But if I had to choose: Diet Coke.

24. Beavers or Ducks? Ducks. Ducks are cute. Beavers are buck-toothed vermin.

25. Are you a morning person or night owl? A little bit of both.

26. Pedicure or Manicure? The Cure.

27. Any new and exciting news you’d like to share? No.

28. What did you want to be when you were little? If I think waaaay waaaay back, I wanted to be an astronomer before any other ideas crossed my mind.

29. What is your best childhood memory? They all involve dozing at the beach.

30. Ever been toilet papering? No way. Even as a kid, that sort of obnoxiousness rubbed me the wrong way.

31. Been in a car accident? Lots, but none that were particularly serious. My favorite one was when I tried to park a rented moving van in a parking garage with insufficient clearance. Doh!

32. Favorite restaurant? First one that comes to mind: Hoppe’s. Second: Top Dog!

33. Favorite flower? Orchids.

34. Favorite ice cream? Ben and Jerry’s Phish Food, or maybe Chunky Monkey.

35. Favorite fast food restaurant? Top Dog. They’re mighty fast!

36. How many times did you fail your drivers test? Once, when I had to take a driving test in San Antonio.

37. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card? Mistress Matisse of Seattle.

38. Who are you most curious about their responses to this? If I could only get one person to respond, I’d like it to be Corn Dog. But she’s in Tennessee right now, so that ain’t gonna happen.

39. Last person you went to dinner with? Karen. Duh.

40. How many tattoos do you have? If you can find a square inch of skin (away from the face, please) which isn’t covered in hair, I’ll tattoo it for you.

41. How many people are you sending this to? None. Or many. Depends on your point of view.

42. What time did you finish this e-mail? 7:40 PM, mas o menos, but I’m posting it after midnight.

43. Favorite magazine? PC Gamer. Runner up: Harper’s. Hey, I’m a man of diverse tastes.

44. If you could meet any famous person, who would it be? Like, in person? To have dinner and get bombed with? Cintra!

45. If you could choose another first name, what would it be? Bugfuck Crazy. “There goes ol’ Bugfuck Crazy Hoffman. Hell of a doctor,” they would say. Who are they? Them. The ones who control me.

But really — Jack. Jack Hoffman. Has a ring to it, don’t you think?

46. If you could change your profession right now, what would you be doing? Wildly successful screenwriter, author of many successful romantic comedies. I’d have loved to be the guy who wrote The 40-year-old Virgin, or the one who wrote Grosse Pointe Blank. Those screenplays rocked!

So . . . did you learn anything new about me?

If you pick up the meme, let me know, and I’ll shout you out at the top of this post.
D.