Balls and Walnuts
more than you ever wanted to know
If only I could commit this lesson to memory
Profound insight on the writing process in just a moment. Bear with me.
We had fine weather this weekend, so yesterday, I took my son to the beach. Didn’t get much any writing done, so I came home feeling guilty as usual. (Yes, yes, we’re supposed to feel guilty for neglecting our children in favor of the muse. But I’m Jewish. We feel guilty no matter what we do.) I had taken Jake to a Mexican restaurant where they had nothing for me to drink but ice tea. Great — now I felt guilty and wired.
Figuring I wouldn’t be able to get to sleep otherwise, I took a whole Benadryl at bedtime, twice my usual dosage. I still had a hard time getting to sleep, and when I woke up, I had that icky Benadryl hangover. Two cups of strong coffee barely touched it.
I could have vegged out all day.
I could have gone on a cooking frenzy.
Instead, I opened my manuscript for the first time in a month, reread my last scene, fiddled with it, backed up a scene, fiddled with that, and before I knew it I was adding scenes. Here I am feeling crappy, dead to the world, and I managed 1500 words. Decent words, too.
So. Fatigue is no excuse. Illness is no excuse. If you have fingers, you can write — no matter what. There is no excuse.
Let’s see if I can remember that.
D.
I think it was Churchill who said, “most great things were accomplished by people who didn’t feel well at the time.”
Sometimes you just have to knuckle down and just do it. And not just writing. (no writer, I.) I’m frequently surprised when in lieu of anything better to do, I take up a project that’s lain idle for a while, and to my pleasant surprise a few hours later find it complete.
I just wish some of those projects were actually a source of filthy lucre… 🙁
Maybe I should convert to Judaism – I feel guilty all the time, too. At least then I’d have an excuse!
Thanks, folks. SxK, that or Catholicism. We haven’t cornered the market on guilt.
too much guilt is bad. some guilt is good though. guilt is recognition of self fault. It should in turn prompt remorse. Remorse leads to regret. If one allows themself to regret and reflect upon that regret it stands as a reminder. Reminds you of what you should or should not do and the consequences or rewards that come with such actions. Thus providing self control, self discipline, self respect. Knowledge is knowing about something.. but wisdom is knowing how to handle that something beit a place, a person, or situation.
did I mention I’m going to go flog myself for my shortcomings..who’s with me? *hands out floggers and skips away to Flogfest*
Now, that’s some free analysis!
“Hmm… *puts pencil to chin*.. Interesting….tell Dr. massa what’s going on in that little thing you call a brain.”
Pardon me, I’m just jesting. Rambling on and such pretending to be of great intellect.
Quite curious..if you’re “Walnut” of this site,then pray tell, who is Ball? 🙂
Catholics have guilt, but they’ve also got that whole confession thing where if you say you’re sorry (to an anonymous priest, not the people you done wronged – assuming you actually done wronged someone, that is), and a few Hail Marys, you’re good for another week, because some guy died a couple thousand years ago. Which seems kind of like cheating to me.
I prefer to feel guilty about things over which I really have no control, like not being able to devote 24 hours every day to each member of my family.
It’s not Ball, it’s Balls. Balls is my wife, of course. Massa, if you click on Pix under Categories, you’ll find a picture of Balls eventually. (As for why I am Walnut and not Walnuts, who knows. Accident of history.)
SxK,in Judaism, you have to ask for forgiveness from God and from the people you have wronged. You have to pay reparations to the people you have wronged. Now THAT’S what a mensch would do, IMO.
I, too, feel guilty for things I can’t control. Or things I did back when I didn’t know any better.