Balls and Walnuts
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An open letter to Countdown with Keith Olbermann
At the end of Countdown, when the network forces KO to report on Britney’s latest brainfart or the travails of Anna Nicole Smith’s uninterred body, what does Keith do? He plays straightman to the likes of Michael Musto or or or good Lord, the rest of them are so forgettable! Times like those, Karen and I turn off the sound and wish Keith would discover Cintra Wilson, the woman who wrote the book on the cancer of fame.
Well, guess what, buckos. They’ve finally found her — sort of. But eight seconds of Cintra is not enough. Hence, The Letter.
Dear Countdown,
I was watching tonight’s piece on Britney Spears, in which the topic of the day was, “Does Fame Destroy the Minds of the Famous,” and I was busy howling at the screen because y’all were talking to Dr. Drew. Dr. Drew! I didn’t want to hear what that putz had to say, I wanted you to interview Cintra Wilson, the woman who wrote the book on the subject. And I got my wish!
I hope you will delve deeper into Cintra’s work. The woman is brilliant. Here’s her rant on Tucker Carlson. And here’s the best obit written on Anna Nicole Smith. Next time a celebrity wigs out, I hope you’ll give Cintra the chance to go head-to-head with KO. She always has funny, intelligent things to say, and she’s a helluva lot cuter than Michael Musto.
Best,
Doug Hoffman MD
I thought I’d add the “MD” for that scintilla of extra clout.
Feel free to send your own emails: countdown@msnbc.com.
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Wish I had more for you today, but I’m still recovering from jet lag. See ya.
D.
Karen took one look at my signature line and said, “They’re going to think you’re from Maryland.”
Doh!
I thought you were going to talk about my favourite gameshow.
Nope. Sorry. My non-USA readers are gonna be scratching their heads over this one!
Yes. Completely mystified.
Oh, I saw her in a clip on the Today show this morning (I was just scanning to see if Tiki Barber was on, yet) and thought of you.
I actually think it’s kind of sad and embarassing to have your big national TV coverage tied up in Britney’s head-shaving, but what do I know? In my big national TV coverage, I was drawing at Jane Pauley’s feet.
It was the Today Show clip they used on KO.
Sam, Olbermann is ONLY the #1 choice for sperm donor (or, in Da Nator’s case, a close runnerup) for liberal women all across the US of A!
I’ll write more about His Wonderfulness later this evening.
Hey, I am just grateful to have been touched by the magic Olbermann-wand, however remote. I keep asking Musto what it’s like in that booth, but he only tells me it’s dark in there. So far Keith has always stayed on his side of the monitor.
I thought it was more like a peep-show thing, and if you fed him enough video clips he might come sit on your lap. Damn.
KO giving lap dances? Now there’s an image! You might even get to touch his magic wand 🙂