Balls and Walnuts
more than you ever wanted to know
OMFG! OMFG! Cintra Wilson visits Balls and Walnuts!
Regulars here know how much I lurve author Cintra Wilson. Smart, funny, beautiful: what’s not to love? And you know, she could look like Marty Feldman and I’d still dig her.
But she doesn’t look like Marty Feldman, and that’s cool.
Cooler still, she found this post of mine, A Star-studded Golden Shower, and left a comment:
Oh, Brother Walnut, you are the Tits.
Let’s be all linked to each other.
Love, Cintra
. . . And imagine my delight to find out SHE’S JOINED OUR RANKS. That’s right, she’s blogging. Here’s a snip from Cintra’s recent rant on Tucker Carlson (entitled TUCKER CARLSON: A BIG GIRL’S BLOUSE OF A SNIVELING PRIGGOT):
His views are neither intelligent nor valid nor clever nor true nor interesting, but they are party-line. Which is good, if you’re a fuffy, piddling Junior League lap-Nazi like Tucker Carlson.
He’s little and white and you take that key in his back that sticks out and wind it up and then his little legs move back and forth and he makes a high, mechanical squeaky noise: YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP! Until the real dogs get to him. Then there is just a sad mist of pink lint.
Perhaps children find him cute, like Ronald McDonald, but grown-up adults just want to aggressively twist his bow-tie around and around like a propeller until his head falls off.
There’s more, much more. Like many of my readers, she lurves her some Keith Olbermann (but be warned: there’s a disturbing bare-chested Dana Milbank Photoshop in that post). Listen to Cintra’s Podcast. The only thing better than reading the phrase “Our glorious Peckerwood in Chief” is hearing it spill from Cintra’s carmine lips.
So go, one and all: visit Cintra’s blog; scratch her virtual back; make her toes curl with your witty comments, and let her know she has Walnut to thank for it.
Cintra, I’ve linked you. You’re in your very own category: Major League Crushes.
D.
You attract so many beautiful women it’s not even funny. And she’s one of us, too, a smart bitch who doesn’t sugarcoat it. Love the Tucker Carlson thang. Guess that means she won’t be using the Tucker Carlson MSNBC Widget at her blog.
http://widgets.yahoo.com/gallery/view.php?widget=40977
Good for her. And welcome to the party, Cintra. The velvet ropes are for Doug when he’s naughty, which is most of the time…
Can I join you in your Major Crush? Oh, that doesn’t sound good, but you know what I mean.
Yeah, ain’t she da bomb?
BG, glad you liked her well enough to give her your Don’t Sugarcoat It award. Richly deserved.
Oh, Doug, you say the sweetest things. Why don’t you hop a plane out to NYC and we’ll… discuss politics?
Kiss, Kiss,
– Not Someone Pretending to be Cindra Wilson
Oops, misspelled my own name! You make me just that dizzy!
;o)
– Not Someone Pretending to be Cintra Wilson
Don’t no one tell her I’m short, balding, and *ahem* slightly over thirty. Um, forty. Something. And married. With a kid. And porn-addicted. No, don’t tell her any of that.
Can we tell her about all your other “platonic” girlfriends? Or what you beg us to do to you below decks on the Mound of Blue Dykes?
And no, we won’t tell her how VERY married you are.
BG, you promised you wouldn’t mention those whippings to my wife . . .
And don’t forget the goings-on with the bilge rats and the sea-monkeys. That just ain’t natural!
Will all the fake Cintra Wilsons please continue to flirt with Mr. Walnut and also start writing my blog for me? That shit is time consuming! Dang!
But here I place a genuine love-bomb on the Doug Man for being so kindly to the new Spirulina-green kid on the block. You meet the nicest people when you finally tuck in and refuse to leave the house.
(A moment of silence for profound Walnut appreciation)
(*)
Love,
Authentic, Card-carrying Cintra Wilson.
*contented sigh*