Balls and Walnuts
more than you ever wanted to know
The H Files
H for Truly Heinous.
From ABC Distributing, meet the Stoneware Egg Separator:
In case the picture wasn’t clear enough, ABC Distributing provides the following explanation:
Just break an egg into the separator, tilt it 45 degrees, and watch as the egg white drips out of his nose, leaving a perfect yolk inside the dish!
Also from ABC Distributing: for that low-expectations nephew of yours, get him his very own 32″ Stamped Steel Pennzoilâ„¢ & John Deere® Gas Pump!
When your little one asks, Mommy, could I grow up to be President someday? don’t you always throw up a little when you say, Yes, dear, anyone in God’s America can grow up to be President? ‘Tis nothing more bitter than to lie to a child. Better, then, to redirect:
President, dear? Why be President, when you could be a gas jockey?
Oy. My mom’s birthday is approaching. Maybe I’ll just get her this Talking Napoleon Dynamite pen.
D.
I love the egg separator!
And I left a gift for you on my livejournal
Yeah…right…get her that pen and live to never hear the end of it.
Hah, I LOVE that egg separator! How much is it?
i’ve seen that egg thingy before…
and i lol’d at your comment on my blog. a music library is the place on your computer where you store all the songs that you then transfer to your MP3 player–aka an iPod or the like. are you telling me jake doesnt have one yet?
and as for artists…you’d BETTER know andrew lloyd webber; Village Harmony is my singing camp, you probably have heard of josh groban, and the rest are relatively small. dunno. maybe you are just old. 😛
Thanks, beard!
$6.95, Sis. I’ve provided the link above. For all you snot lovers.
Shaina, Andrew Lloyd Mmsmhshshmm is He Who Must Not Be Named around here. And no, I haven’t heard of Josh Groban. And I am old, as far as you’re concerned.
Reminds me of a story. When I was YOUR age, one of the Ridge Project girls (a co-op at Berkeley — and she was your age, too) shacked up* with some grad student in his mid-forties. I remember his comb-over quite well, and the fact that he cheated at Monopoly. Paaaaah-thetic.
*Archaic slang: began sleeping with
Genius, really.
Then again, I’ve separated a lot of eggs and I know it sort of sucks.
Horrible, but genius.