Balls and Walnuts
more than you ever wanted to know
Walnut, licensed sex therapist
Well, not quite, but closer than you might think.
Recently, I learned (but have not been able to confirm) that in 2007, the American Board of Sleep Medicine will allow physicians to sit for the Boards exam without first doing a 12-month fellowship in sleep medicine. In other words, pass the test and you’re in. If this is the case, and assuming I pass the test, I could do a few things I can’t presently do.
ENT docs have a share in this turf since we treat snoring and obstructive sleep apnea. Sleep medicine also includes treatment of insomnia, a subject near and dear to my heart, and parasomnia, which is the subject of today’s post.
Parasomnia is a catch-all term which includes a variety of inappropriate sleep behaviors: restless leg syndrome, sleepwalking, sleep-talking, sleep-eating, and yes, sleep-screwing, also known as sexsomnia. We’re not talking about porking the mattress in the middle of the night. Every guy does that. (Don’t bother to deny it. You were asleep — how would you know?) No, we’re talking about behavior that can break up families and land you in jail.
Here’s one of the seminal papers (*cough*) in sexsomnia. The linked page includes eleven case reports of sexsomniacs. Yeah, I thought the whole thing was a laugh, too, until I read the reports. It’s one thing to make unwanted advances on your spouse, quite another thing entirely if one of your kids is sleeping in your bed. This is scary stuff.
I have to wonder about the 16-year-old whose mom found him downloading male porn off the internet while asleep, but if you can fix yourself a ham and cheese sandwich while asleep, googling is a piece of cake.
You’ll be glad to hear this is a treatable condition which does not require a full body condom. Some of these folks were treated with clonazepam, some with CPAP (the mask device we use to treat obstructive sleep apnea).
Somehow, I always knew I had a future in sex.
D.
Oh good – then I can ask you why I sleep so much! 🙂
First, I’ll assume it’s not due to medications. Second, I’ll assume you really do sleep a lot (significantly more than 8 hours a night). If both assumptions are true, then it’s likely you do have some sort of sleep disorder resulting in poor sleep efficiency. You sleep more because your sleep quality sucks. That’s about as “narrowed down” as anyone could get without a sleep study, unfortunately.
Bet you weren’t expecting a serious reply!
I have to say, I find it both interesting and telling that all of the men in the study sexually abused others, while the women fondled themselves.
That was interesting, wasn’t it? So I guess I shouldn’t hold my breath waiting for my wife to start groping me in her sleep.
Of course, what man is going to complain about that?? 😉 Perhaps women sexually attacking men is just under-reported.
Good point! You’re right. I certainly wouldn’t complain.
Damn, now I know why the window’s open and I smell like English Leather in the morning…