Balls and Walnuts
more than you ever wanted to know
Hopes for the New Year
No resolutions, my friends. I know what I need to do. But there are innumerable things I have no control over, things I would like to see happen in 2007. Here are a few.
1. Please, for the love of God, no more ugly crotch shots from the likes of Paris Hilton or Britney Spears; nor do I want to watch Nicole Richey descend further into her heroin-chic fashion world of anorexic glam.
2. All war criminals and perpetrators of crimes against humanity should be given the Saddam treatment: they should stand trial and be summarily hung by the neck until dead. Gentlemen, you know who you are. The world will breathe a sigh of relief when you’re gone.
3. Katie Holmes should find a loophole in her prenup with Tom Cruise and stick it to him for every penny. Tom should then sink into the obscurity his talentlessness and all-around psychopathology so richly deserves.
4. Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton should begin demonstrating some true leadership skills — hmm, how about championing the impeachment of Bush and Cheney? — or, failing that, they should clear the field for candidates who will show some backbone. On that same note, I’m hoping Al Gore will announce his candidacy this year. Until he does, my vote is for Edwards.
5. Needless to say, I’d like to see all the troops come home from the Middle East. Colin Powell’s Pottery Barn rule ignores the fact that when glass shatters, you can’t put it back together. You can pay for a new one. When a government emerges from the mess in Iraq, we can (and should) pay reparations.
6. Can we please have one single, solitary year without another Law & Order spinoff? This weekend of CSI/SVU marathons has left me with a vaguely guilty feeling, as if I should expect a call from Vincent D’Onofrio and his goons at any moment. Note to Hollywood: drama can happen outside of New York. Drama can happen outside of a courtroom. Drama does not require murders or gruesome sex crimes. Jeez.
7. I would like to see a new book from Martin Cruz Smith (it’s been two years since Wolves Eat Dogs), and a new movie from Alan Rickman other than the latest Harry Potter flick.
8. And oh, am I ever looking forward to the release of Spore, the PC game event of the decade!
So what are you hoping for?
D.
My sister, the Alan Rickman/Snape obsessed (the obsession began long before Snape, however), told me over the holidays that Rickman’s latest film, Perfume, was slated for limited release in the US this fall/winter. The movie website directed me to MySpace/perfume, which says that the movie opened 12/27. Looks like it’s only playing in NYC, though. Road trip?
*blinks* Whaaa? We saw that movie (Das Parfum) this summer. Weird.
Excellent, movie, though.