Balls and Walnuts
more than you ever wanted to know
Six strange and wonderful things
It’s Lyvvie‘s meme. Blame her.
ONE
Karen: You got the money?
Me: Yeah. You hang on to it.
Karen: No, you can hang on to it.
Me: No, I’ll just spend it on cheap whores.
Karen: I’d like to know where you intend to find expensive whores around here.
**more below the cut**
TWO
Were it not for my short stature, hirsute body, crooked teeth, and flatulence*, I’d make a damned good gigolo. And I gave serious thought to it, too, but it dismayed me to discover that young, beautiful women don’t have to pay for it.
THREE
When I was a teenager, I took boudoir photos of our Chihuahua, Perrita.
FOUR
My family and I were on vacation in Las Vegas when I tried to seduce a woman at poolside. She was thirty-five, I was five. She was my Mrs. Robinson**.
FIVE
For me, paradise has always been a beach. Not the visuals of a beach, but everything else: the sound of AM/FM radios and laughter muted in the open air; the contrast of hot sun, cold wind; the smell of salt water and barbecue, the fetid odors of a nearby pier. The perfect pillow made by hot, dry sand.
SIX
I am a romantic. I think I’m my family’s only romantic, now that my grandfather is gone. I didn’t marry a romantic, nor am I raising one. I think we’re a dying breed.
I tag: whomever wants to play. (If you do play, let me know in the comments, and I’ll link you here.)
D.
*I lied. My teeth are straight.
**Or would have been, if I’d had my five-year-old way with her.
if i could think of six weird things about me…
well, i probably could. number one being, i like doug’s blog 😛
anywho, i’ll comment again if i decide to try.
i like the pic of ur doggie. is cute!
I think I’m in love…with Perrita.