Balls and Walnuts
more than you ever wanted to know
Exhausted
and I’m not sure why. But when my nosebleed patient sprayed me with bloody saliva, I was just about done. Felt like canceling the rest of my day and heading home.
I feel like I could sleep for ten hours. Shame is, I have something important to write about (modern day snake oil salesmen preying upon cancer patients). But if I write it now, I’ll make a muck of it.
So I’ll close with a question. The supermarket tabloids apparently think I should care about this twig of a woman:
Nicole Richie, who makes my 85-pound wife look zaftig.Â
My question: Why?
D.
Because everyone likes to watch train wrecks?
Dunno.
Because she has a lot of money. Not that she’s actually earned any of it, but she has a hell of a lot of it.
And that’s why you should care about her, as you should care about everyone who has a lot of money. All of the people who have a lot of money love her, as she loves them.
Money is redemptive. How else can we explain Paris Hilton?
I prefer not to explain Paris Hilton. I would get a hell of a headache!
Rella
I think you’ve got your dyed-blonde bimbos mixed up. That’s Paris, not Nichole.
And, yes, I’m ashamed I can spot the difference.
Ack! Now I’m more confused than ever. Is it Paris? Is it Nicole? Maybe if we watch her long enough, she’ll pull a Sharon Stone & we can recognize her that way.
no idea…
i got what you sent me. i am glad i opened it in the elevator!! but i dont know how to pose with it. shall we ask for suggestions?
oh, ps. the boyfriend is no more. 🙁
That’s Nicole, and you should care about her because if you stop caring, you won’t buy the tabloids, and they’ll lose money and go out of business, and that would be … well … kind of the opposite of terrible.
Except that we’d have nothing to look at when paying for groceries. They’d probably fill the space with candy, and we’d all start impulse-buying snickers, and the current obesity epidemic would skyrocket, and we’d all die of heart attacks, and our fat children would be orphaned.
That’s why you have to care about Nicole. Won’t somebody think of the children?!?
I prefer not to think about Nicole, either.
Or Paris.
Or Brangelina.
Or TomKat.
*shudder*
I think I need alcohol. Doug, where are your sperm, already??
My sperm is in the mail, Kris. Hope you’re a swallower, but if you and Rella prefer to let it roll around in your mouth before letting it drip out on your chins, be my guest. (Okay, everyone calm down . . . I’m talking about Krugy!)
Shaina, sorry to hear about the BF. Asking him to pose with the gift I sent must have been a bad idea.
SxK, I want to look at cuter women on my tabloids. La Richie looks like a troll doll.
See what I mean?
Do you want all our children to be orphans, Kris? Do you really?
Doug, keep posting pics of horny iguanas, they’re a lot more attractive. 😀
Do you want all our children to be orphans, Kris? Do you really?
sxK — under this somewhat perky bosom (thank you, push-up inventor) lies a cold, uncaring heart.
*sigh*
Oh, all right. Sheesh. I will scald my eyeballs and peer at Picole *just* for those poor, poor offspring. 😀
I thank you, Kris, and the little children thank you. And Nicole thanks you, although you probably didn’t want to hear that.
Doug: trolls are people, too. Won’t somebody think of the troll children?