Balls and Walnuts
more than you ever wanted to know
Finally
Re: La Gabaldon’s sex scenes. Finally, on page 436, she ceases to be anemic:
He spread my thighs with his knee and sheathed himself to the root in a single thrust that made me gasp. He made a sound that was almost a groan, and gripped me tighter.
. . .
“Aye, I mean to use ye hard, my Sassenach,” he whispered. “I want to own you, to possess you, body and soul.” I struggled slightly and he pressed me down, hammering me, a solid, inexorable pounding that reached my womb with each stroke.
If I hadn’t seen the photo of La Gabaldon on the inside back cover, I’d have sworn a man wrote this passage. It’s so, so hormonal. Root-sheathing? Womb-pounding?
Ow. I don’t even have a womb, but I can imagine. OW. Dammit, Jamie, you could knock an ovary fucking Claire like that.
I wish I had more for y’all, but that passage left me in a post-coital stupor. So let’s open it up to discussion:
Does your feline prefer to be coddled with slow, gentle strokes, or would she rather be pounded senseless by some git in a tartan? Or perhaps she’d prefer to curl herself around a Hitachi Magic Wand.
Oops. No AC current in the 17th Century. Sorry, Claire.
D.
Well, shoot. I recommended this book to my aunt a few weeks back, then afterwards wondered if there was anything in there she’d raise an eyebrow over. I said to myself, “Nah. It’s all pretty tame.” Now you’re making me have second thoughts.
prefer to be coddled with slow, gentle strokes, or would she rather be pounded senseless by some git in a tartan
I’d say the problem with that phrase is the *or*. There’s no *or* about it, it’s a definite *and* kinda’ situation.
P.S. I love how the Magic Wand purportedly “releases the tensions of everyday living”. Best. Advertising. Ever.
Yes.
Often.
Tonight.
Git in a tartan! Git in a tartan!
Two votes for and, one vote (or is that two, Mo?) for the git in the tartan.
fiveandfour, for all you know, your aunt fantasizes about squeezing the bagpipes of well-beschlonged Scotsmen.
I agree with Fiveandfour ther is no place for *or* in that question. It’s definately *and*.
Tartan.. hee hee… I still like the phrase…
“Nothing is worn under the kilt” I love double entendres, especially when they have to do with what’s under that kilt!
Rella
P.S. I just glanced at your blogroll Walnut! Thanks for the linky lurve!
R
Almost forgot. Fiveandfour, Gabaldon has several oral sex scenes, too, although they are tastefully written.
(That ‘tastefully’ double entendre was for you, Rella ;))
A well written romance has got to have different types of sex scenes. I dislike four sex scenes in a row where not only are they doing basically the same thing (tab a, meet slot b) but the emotions or tenor of the scene is exactly the same.
Sometimes it’s appropriate for the sex to be worshipful, sometimes sweet, sometimes hard and quick. So I don’t think there’s an “or” either.
And I still shake my head over Gabaldon insisting that this isn’t a romance novel. Because, um, it is. Root, womb, hmmm.
although they are tastefully written
*snort*
Ah, Doug, it warms the cockles of my heart whenever I stop by here. Really, it does.
Would I lie to you?
although they are tastefully written
*snort*
Ah, Doug, it warms the cockles of my heart whenever I stop by here. Really, it does.
Would I lie to you?
ps. Weighing in on the “there is no ‘or’ in that equation side. 😀
*bangs head on desk*
Bloody hell. Sorry for repeating myself.
Apparently today’s taste sensation of Lychee Bubble Tea has messed up my brain cells somehow…
Suisan: thanks. Your comments are quite apropos, since I’m in the middle of my rewrite, and somehow I have to nail that last sex scene.
Heh. He said nail.
Kris: remember my favorite fantasy? Let’s just call it a taste test.
Slow, gentle coddling, of course. On a soft feather bed, no scratchy whiskers or rough motions…. Okay, I’m cracking up here. That’s nice, if you’re in a sweet, romantic mood, but a steady diet of that would get boring as hell.
Heh. Tasteful oral sex scenes. Cute.
So I’m assuming you haven’t gotten to the…. oh, nevermind. I’m sure we’ll hear about it when you do. 😉
Oh, don’t tell me Jamie’s gonna get buggered. Gabaldon’s certainly setting that up. Why do some women like reading buggery scenes?
Guess it’s like girl-on-girl for a guy.
dont worry. no graphic buggery, not in this one at least. read “Lord John and the Private Matter” for that…but good gay sex is indeed amazing. have you ever heard of the Showtime show “Queer as Folk”? its amazing. *drools*
oh, and suisan, she does call it a romance novel. she says its everything. she has podcasts up on her website and she actually adresses that problem, because the series has everything from witches to time travel to sex to history to adventure and more…
Why do some women like reading buggery scenes?
Worse, why do we like writing them even it’s so out of the historical context it’s not funny. 😉
Currently, the only option my feline has is the Hitachi. Slow and gentle is nice to a point, at which I want to be pounded. (If I remember the whole sex thing correctly, that is…)
Shaina, I’m shocked.
She must have come around, because a few years ago, I think inbetween installments 2 and 3, she absolutely objected to the books being called romances. Very much got up on her high horse about it.
But I think her rabid fangirls informed her that they liked the books just fine, no matter what the rest of the world wanted to call them.
Hairy git in a kilt, please, with a twinkle in his eye and whisky on his breath. And he has to call me “Woman,” a lot.