Balls and Walnuts
more than you ever wanted to know
I hear boos from the peanut gallery
Balls and Walnuts extends its welcome to Britney Spears fans the world over. You see, someone at the Hey Britney Forums discovered my photoshop of her infant son holding a beer, tied to the front of Mel Gibson’s Road Warrior car (apropos of Britney’s reckless child care practices).
Unfortunately, my critic writes in Spanish, and the only thing I can understand is that I’m a muy mala persona for creating such an image. That is just so wrong. I’m a muy mal person — damn it, get the sex right. Britney, she’s a muy mala persona. Are we straight on that?
It’s 10:40 PM and Jake is asking us about the meaning of life. I told him I’m hoping I’ll get through life hurting as few people as possible and hopefully helping a few. Karen told him, “My life has no meaning,” which was news to me. She can be so disturbing sometimes.
Meanwhile, NBC Chicago’s website has posted a photo proving psychic Dorothy Allison correctly guessed the appearance of JonBenet Ramsey’s killer:
Yeah, I think it’s pretty effing amazing. She’s wrong on the eyes, nose, lips, chin, facial shape, and hair style, but damn! She guessed it was a guy. I am impressed, and also a little creeped out, given the obvious resemblance to another killer:
But, honestly: can Fox News and the media in general find any more ways of trivializing this poor girl’s murder?
D.
Well, since I don’t think this guy did it, the drawing is way off the mark. She did do a pretty nice generic picture of a white sociopath.
LOL.
I still think the mother did it, the father covered it up, and they decided never, ever to say anything.
The mom, really? I could never figure a motive there. IIRC, she had an older brother. That’s who I thought dunnit.
Dang. That was some bad Spanish verbiage. I stuck it in babel fish for a translation to see what it thought. It said:
Then anti they fan of britney or the k is….hizo this photo of are tied to a good car… is not are but it does as if outside… it seems to me shameful and of very bad person… tngo words is not very cruel…. is of britney or of any person… xfavor k he is a boy!
The writer seems to think it is ok to drive with a baby on your lap. Let me tell you its not. I was sitting in the emergency room one afternoon and some good Samaritans brought in a young well dressed woman who had been traveling with her newborn in her lap. She was not in a wreck. She had merely braked hard. She crushed the baby’s skull on the steering column.
The problem with people like Britney Spears and Michael Jackson is that they mentally never grew out of the stage of a 5 year old and aren’t going to do in future, either.
Hey, lighten up on the psychic! She guessed it was a WHITE guy. [snort]
zz, I wish someone would improve Babelfish. Even I came up with better than that!
Gabriele, five years old? You’re being awfully judgmental. I’d have placed them both as 12-year-olds.
Monica *snort* back at ya. You’re right. She got that he was white AND a guy!
I hate to say this but I think the sketch does look like the killer. But then, I’m vision impaired. What does that tell ya? I also think the sketch looks amazingly like Hitler.
I liked this part of the Babelfish that said, “it seems to me shameful and of very bad person.” Umm, yeah.
The neck is pretty close. Other than that, eh, not so much.
I don’t think the mom did it, but I also have my doubts about Karr. He seems obsessed and crazy, but from the reports we’ve seen so far, it looks like he got some of the details wrong about the murder.
It was ten years ago, but it seems to me that unless he’s killed a whole lot of kids between then and now, his memory would be a little better than that.
I always suspected the older brother, too, although they found DNA on JonBenet and it didn’t match anyone in the family, so who knows?
Eesh, don’t even get me started on Britney. Securing a child in a safety seat is one of my non-negotiables. If I ever had any respect for her [and if I did, it wasn’t much], it was gone when she did that.
Bah, I can’t believe anyone would defend that kind of behavior.
I suspect you’re picking up on the expression, the detachment. As Sam pointed out, it’s a good pic of a sociopath — but you could copy that expression from any serial killer, I suspect. When you get down to useful identifying details, there’s really very little in common between the two.
He has to be nuts either way — whether he’s the killer, or just some dude who wants the fame of being known as JonBenet’s killer.
I seem to remember that they keep back details of most murders to screen out the false confessions. I seem to remember that false confessions are almost a cottage industry in some places.
Gabriele, five years old? You’re being awfully judgmental. I’d have placed them both as 12-year-olds.
Hey, I was trying to be nice. My niece is not yet 5 and a lot more mature than Britney. 🙂
Dean, I heard that the “killer” had been emailing the Ramseys back and forth. No telling what they divulged to the guy. The case was mismanaged from the start — why should it be any different now?
Okay, Gabriele, I’ll grant you that 😉