Balls and Walnuts
more than you ever wanted to know
A 10-year-old’s ruminations on HEAs, apropos Wedding Crashers
I had meant to have this Smart Bitches Day post rarin’ to go for this morning, but one thing led to another, yatta yatta. Sorry, Miss Beth. Besides . . . Spartacus down there would have my nuts if I pushed him down the page any sooner than 6 PM.
Here’s Jake’s comment on romantic comedies (and, by extension, the entire romance genre): “It’s boring. You always know what’s going to happen in the end. Can’t someone die for a change?”
We’ll get back to that. First, I want to show you the best thing about Wedding Crashers:
Rachel McAdams. Image pilfered from Movie Gazette.
Her forehead’s a bit high, but otherwise, isn’t she as cute as cute can be? Not much of an actress, but I suspect that’s an unfair judgment because the screenplay gave her precious little to do.
Here’s the worst part of Wedding Crashers:
Ugh. I’m not sure I’ll ever stomach Vince Vaughn in a romantic role; he reminds me too much of The Dud in that old game Mystery Date. As for Owen Wilson, as much as I loved him in Zoolander, I’m beginning to realize that his dramatic range begins with Hansel and ends with Hutch.
So: on the one hand, we have two not-so-young-anymore male ingenues, Christopher Walken looking lost, Will Farrell trying to be funny-pathetic and succeeding only in pathetic, a stereotypical black butler who’s wiser than everyone else around him, and an extremely offensive portrayal of a nutso repressed homosexual (Walken’s son in the movie). On the other hand,
as well as a scalding hot Jane Seymour (that’s who I would do . . . and, yes, I’m showing my age) and lots of topless bridesmaids.
I give Wedding Crashers two thumbs up.
***
Back to Jake’s observation.
I tried to explain to him the concept of expectations — because, really, if you think about it, isn’t that one of the main reasons writers don’t mess with the HEA? After all, if you bought an assortment of chocolate truffles, you’d be disappointed if all of them were Crunchy Frog.
“Imagine,” said I, “that you went to a Harry Potter movie and all through the movie, Harry behaved like an asshole. Imagine him brown-nosing Snape, worming his way in between Hermione and Ron only to break Hermione’s heart, making friends with Malfoy, screwing up on all his classes, and sticking a shiv into Dumbledore’s guts. Then, in the end, you find out it wasn’t a shapeshifter masquerading as Harry, nor a death-eater on Polyjuice Potion. It was Harry all along, and he was just being a royal shit.”
Yes, I talk to my son like that, and worse sometimes, too. Gotta do something to hold his attention.
“It’s still dumb to make them all end happily ever after,” said Jake. “There’s no suspense.”
It’s an interesting point, not because it’s true, but because somehow, magically, it’s not true. I’ve read enough romances by now to know that some authors manage to pull it off. Yes, you know Westley will end up with Buttercup (though as many times as I see that movie, I keep hoping Inigo Montoya will win her heart instead), but the opposite tension exists. Maybe they won’t hook up.
But they have to. WTF?
Sure, we throw conflict into our stories. We don’t make it easy for our H/Hs. We mix it up. Is that all there is to it?
I don’t know the answer to that. I’m green at this, as many of you know. But back to the question of the HEA’s inevitability: is expectation the only reason? Perhaps it’s not a romance without the HEA. I assume The Break-up isn’t a romance (since I don’t like the leads in that movie, I’ll never find out for myself). How about Truly, Madly, Deeply? Alan Rickman’s dead, for goodness sake. Juliet Stevenson ends up with a lover, but it’s not Rickman. Is it drama? Comedy? Romance?
Enough bitchery. Karen wants her creme brulee and she wants it now.
D.
Hated pirate Westley. Lobster hated Buttercup. I wanted the whole story to be about Inigo.
Strangely, my favorite romance movie is between a dead guy and a live chick who don’t end up together: The Ghost and Mrs. Muir. I think the HEA isn’t so much about the ending as the journey. We know they’ll end up together but we want to know how.
Awww… If Jake was older, I’d snatch him up and keep him in a New York minute!
I’ve a lot of days when I feel the same way about romances.
And I know, I’ve not gotten back to you on the previous instalment or this one. I’m sorry! I’ll try to be better at this.
I confess, I feel guilt for not getting back to you to, but I haven’t finished reading it yet. On the plus side (heavily on the plus side) it has kept my interest. I’m hoping that Mr. Lee makes it out of surgery, for example.
Get the hell over here with the creme brulee!
Don’t feel guilty over the manuscript, folks. Even Dean’s simple “it has kept my interest” is good to hear. On the other hand, I’m itching to know what my women readers think of the sex scene. Silly? Over the top? Works, doesn’t work?
Erin, I’ve tried to find the Cook’s Illustrated recipe online for you and I can’t. I’ll have to post it. One teaser observation: plain granulated white sugar works best for the brulee. I’ve been trying turbinado (as recommended by Cook’s Illustrated) and the stuff WILL NOT MELT. In the past, when I used white sugar, I had no prob.
I’m a girl who enjoys a miserable ending just as much as a happy one. I remember the first time I saw ‘Message in a Bottle’…everyone around me despised the ending. I loved it. On the opposite end of the spectrum. I adore The Notebook–I’m such a chick–but that ending makes me throw up a little. So…I think it depends on how it’s done. Well written, is well written!
Maybe it’s just me, but I don’t see The Notebook as having a happy ending. In the end, he’s losing her.
I don’t have anything against happy endings. I just don’t like when the happy ending isn’t the right ending and someone tacks on a HEA because they think it’ll sell more books/movies/Nielson ratings.
Happy endings are fine–if they’re the true ending for the story. Which is most of the time. But when it isn’t the true ending and the author/director/artist knows it and slaps a stupid HEA on there anyway, that’s when I feel betrayed.
Can you tell I feel strongly about this? *grin*
Well, as a reader of romances, I’ll weigh in here. For me, it NOT all about the HEA, although I certainly have come to expect that in a traditional romance novel.
City of Angels, w/Nicholas Cage and Meg Ryan, was very romantic. The ending neither shocked nor upset me–I could see it coming, somehow–but I would have been just as happy with an HEA.
I read the story or watch the movie to see the couple develop into a couple beyond two people who kind of have the hots for each other. The ending is almost superfluous. To take your Haryy Potter analogy a touch further, I’m ultimately not that interested in the final scene of the final book (or movie). The suspense isn’t killing me.
But I AM interested in the development of those core friendships. It’s not enough to learn that Harry and Ron are best buddies; I want to see them meet, support each other, screw up, get angry, forgive, etc. I love that Ron’s often a jerk and that brave, heroic Harry is often not brave enough to tell his best friend this. That’s what makes a good romance–the building of that relationship.
Which, by the way, most movies do just terribly. Doesn’t stop me from watching them, but still.
Thanks, folks. I agree with y’all. Suisan, how about When Harry Met Sally — I thought that movie did a bang-up job of building their relationship.
Yes, I like When Harry Met Sally for just that reason.
However, there aren’t too many more which do it well.
(Although the Shop on the Corner comes to mind as being pretty good–but now I can’t fully remember why that would be. Duh.)
Don’t know that one, sorry 😉
In the old days, Say Anything used to be my favorite romance. Later on, it was replaced by another Cusack movie, Gross Point Blank (sp?) I’m still very fond of that one — love the relationship between Cusack and whatshername. Can you tell I’m at bloody work and too lazy to check IMDB?