Balls and Walnuts
more than you ever wanted to know
Cap’n Dyke’s aphrodisiacal beet salad?
Delicious, but it needs to come with a warning.
You are not peeing blood.
You are not crapping blood.
It’s the beets.
D.
Delicious, but it needs to come with a warning.
You are not peeing blood.
You are not crapping blood.
It’s the beets.
D.
hey, that’s the fun part. Go BEETS!
Not fun is channeling Margaret Cho in front of my office staff and, subsequently, the urgent care nurse: “ACK! I’M PEEING BLOOD, I’M PEEING BLOOD!”
I think I’ll have to make this just for the pee.
That reminds me of the day after my daughter was introduced to carrots. She loved them and ate the entire jar. Next day her dad was changing her diaper and suddenly came running, through the house, baby clutched to his chest, diaper bag slung over his shoulder, babbling “hurry! We have to take the baby to the hospital! SHE’S POOPING BLOOD!!!!!” I freaked and said “OHMYGOD LETMESEE!” He did not think we could spare the time, but I insisted. I peeked inside the dirty diaper (still on the baby, of course) and felt terror stab my heart. Then I looked again and said “Honey, are you sure that poop is red and not orange?” It required a trip out into the yard to gaze upon the questionable poop in direct sunlight, but we finally decided it was indeed very dark orange (EWWW.)
This same kid jumped off a swing yesterday, landed on her face and bumped her head. After I inspected her and declared her “just fine” she informed me that she did not think I was worried enough about her. If she could look back in time she would never believe those two spazzes (sp?) were her parents. What a difference 5 years has made.
*BTW, that is not a “stupid ex-husband” story. It really did look red at first glance.
Spazi. Rhymes with Nazi.
Thanks for sharing your old diapers with us, Kate 😉
Okay, Douglas, ye say it be delicious (Clitatia Vaginus thanks ye), but did it do anythin’ for ye besides give ye a fit when ye used th’ lil’ boy’s room?
My favourite trick when I was preganant and having to give lots of urine samples was to give beetroot pee because I love the looks on the nurses’ faces.
Lyvvie, so why am I the last person to find out about this?
Cap’n, I don’t need an aphrodisiac. As for my better half, you’d have to ask Mrs. Walnut (AKA Balls).
Mrs. Walnut (AKA Balls)? What have ye t’say about th’salad? Did it help ye keep Douglas in line?
BTW, not t’offend, but ye be quite th’looker! 😉
Heh. First time I read that, I thought it said, “Quite th’hooker.”
Doug! You called me Kate! I should be insulted, but I am laughing my ass off. My best friend in the entire world is named Kate. In high school we dated guys who were best friends and the guys kept getting our names mixed up. Every so often my boyfriend would call me Kate and hers would call her Karen (my real name, KariBelle is a nickname my family sometimes calls me.) Of course, we did not like that one bit. Those guys were history. And no, we don’t look a thing alike. She is a 5-foot-tall blonde and I am a nearly 6-foot-tall brunette. I don’t even want to think about the Freudian posibilities for those slips. The mind of an 18 year-old boy is a scary place.
BTW, Kate now plays for Th’Cap’n’s team. I wonder how THAT would figure into those frightening fantasies Dumb and Dumber were obviously having.
Oops! However, maybe I’ll score points with Kate for confusing her with a nearly 6-foot-tall brunette.
Sorry 🙂
Douglas!
Cap’n!
I’m gonna tell Mrs. Walnut (AKA Balls)…