Thirteen fun facts about sex

Can’t . . . resist . . . power . . . of Thirteen.

1. It’s possible to write a novel about a Southeast Asian sex junket and make it pretentious, depressing, and devoid of eroticism. Quite the difficult task, but William T. Vollman is up to the job (Butterfly Stories, currently out of print).

2. In mammalian embryos, the default state for external genitalia is female. In males, male sex hormones must be present to “masculinize” the developing fetus. A variety of conditions known collectively as androgen insensitivity syndromes result in genetic males with female secondary sex characteristics. Chicks with balls, in other words. Sadly, the balls are internal.

3. Leave it to medicine to make everything sound gross. Androphilic means you like guys. Gynephilic means you like gals.

4. Why Orthodox Judaism rawks (and, yes, there are many reasons why it does not rawk, but that’s another discussion for another day):

The woman’s right to sexual intercourse is referred to as onah, and it is one of a wife’s three basic rights (the others are food and clothing), which a husband may not reduce. The Talmud specifies both the quantity and quality of sex that a man must give his wife. It specifies the frequency of sexual obligation based on the husband’s occupation, although this obligation can be modified in the ketubah (marriage contract). A man may not take a vow to abstain from sex for an extended period of time, and may not take a journey for an extended period of time, because that would deprive his wife of sexual relations. In addition, a husband’s consistent refusal to engage in sexual relations is grounds for compelling a man to divorce his wife, even if the couple has already fulfilled the halakhic obligation to procreate.

5. According to this page, the human male averages 11 erections per day. For those of you reading my romance-in-progress who balk at my protagonists frequent afflictions of wood, I say to you, take that!

6. Also on that page . . .

Every year on March 15 Japan throws a giant festival to celebrate the penis and fertility. A 900-pound wooden phallus is paraded around the streets of the town Komaki, and women carry massive dildos in their arms. Thousands of people come to pay homage to the penis and take part in the festivities.

7. Wow. The amazing things you find on the web. Is your female cat in heat? How to masturbate your pussy to orgasm. (That should be good for a few hits.) Excerpt:

Insert the Q-tip into the cat’s vagina. It will be exposed and puffy. Do not insert the Q-tip into the other orifice. Either way the cat will begin to scream, but there is a subtle and audible difference in the scream of satisfaction and the scream of rectal pain. Experiment a little until you can distinguish the two.

I am so glad our cats are spayed.

8. Female ejaculation in humans remains controversial (is it urine, or something else?), but there is some evidence that the ejaculate is a product of Skene’s glands, specialized glands which drain into the urethra.

9. In addition to forbidding nudity (not to mention requiring married couples to sleep in separate beds), the Hays Code forbade the ridicule of religion, depiction of “sex perversion,” and even miscegenation in the movies.

10. Certain forms of brain damage (encephalitis, or damage from surgery) can result in the uncommon Kluver-Bucy syndrome, which manifests as emotional blunting, hyperphagia (overeating), and hypersexuality. Mania/bipolar disorder are also known causes of hypersexuality. Hypersexuality might be considered the normal state of puberty.

11. Males exposed to a steady stream of new receptive females can achieve seemingly miraculous sexual feats. This is known as the Coolidge Effect, after the apocryphal story of President and Mrs. Coolidge’s visit to a chicken ranch. Wikipedia has one version of the story, but here’s my version.

President Coolidge and his wife were touring a local chicken ranch when the tour guide pointed proudly at his top rooster. “Performs thirty, forty times a day and never tuckers out.” Mrs. Coolidge elbowed her husband in the ribs. “See?” she said. “If I’m not mistaken,” said the President, “that’s thirty or forty times a day with different hens.”

12. Male snakes and lizards have two winkies. They let them take turns. Crustaceans and earwigs are similarly endowed, as is (according to Pravda) a certain Malaysian puppy.

Contrary to what you might think, I don’t want two. I have enough trouble keeping one busy.

13. When I die, I want to be reincarnated as a bonobo. Those little bastards are at it constantly.

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