What can I say. Ah needs mah ferrety love.
Why Zappa?
First, there was Teh Cool Zappa.
Then, there were Teh Cute Zappas.
And then, there was Teh Cool and Cute Zappa.
Charlotte Brontë died sometime last night. She was getting up there for a ferret, maybe six years old, and had begun losing hair from her back. Last time we let her out of her cage to jump around, she didn’t jump around much, just raced off to her favorite spot in the bathroom to have another nap. No dancing, no chook-chooking.
This isn’t one of those depressing “woe is me, my beloved pet hath bit the big one” posts. Charlotte died in her sleep, looking as contented as she did in the above photo. I’ve seen so many pets die badly: Chi Chi, my sibling rival who died slowly from congestive heart failure; Perrita, my pal growing up who died while I was away at college, cause of death equal parts old age and neglect from my parents; Brownie the Rat, one of our favorite pets, who died of breast cancer. Baby, our boa constrictor and the first pet Karen and I bought as a couple, went insane after two failed pregnancies, developed mouth rot, and seemed to be suffering so much we had to put her down. Hamachi, our four-horned chameleon, who had more personality than many humans I’ve known, died of natural causes; but when chameleons die, they turn jet black and their eyes sink into their heads. It looks painful.
Our pets seem to die badly no matter how well we try to take care of them. And that’s why this story has such a happy ending: we loved Charlotte, we knew she was old and bound to move on at any time, and she died in her sleep, not a hint of pain evident in her expression or body habitus. I’m very happy about that.
Charlotte was such a sweetie, I’m tempted to get another ferret or two. But what about a guinea pig? Or hamsters? Or gerbils? Or rabbits?
D.
Check out The Hermit’s new political vid. Davis Fleetwood hooks into an emotion I tried to explain here, but y’all thought I was talking about music or something. And I was thinking about it again this morning on the drive to work. On NPR, they were yapping about the housing crash, about how devastating an experience it is to have your house on the market right now. “I’m so exhausted,” the woman said. “I never know when the real estate agent is going to show up, so every morning, I have to Windex the windows before I go to work.”
I thought about Davis’s video, and everything snapped into perspective.
Join me below the fold for
FROGS!
ZAFTIG WOMEN!
A FRIDAY SNIPPET!
and more, because there’s always me, too.
Just bought some new froggies. I’ll take some pix of my own when they arrive, but for now, here are a few links . . .
Dendrobates tinctorius ‘Cobalt’
Dendrobates auratus “Costa Rican Green & Black”
G’night!
D.
SxKitten’s post on grigs turned me on to What’s That Bug?, a website dedicated to the identification of creepy crawlies of all kinds. All evening, Jake and I have been oohing and aaahing over all the beautiful spiders, moths, wind scorpions, sow bugs, you name it. What a hoot.
Jake directed me to The Worst Bug Story Ever. Scroll down past the head lice and the termite-riddled tampon to THE WORST BUG STORY EVER!!! It’s a long letter. Stop right now if these things disturb you . . . Anyway, as I read the letter, I began getting the shivers — not from the bugs, but from the dawning realization that this woman was quite likely delusional.
Delusional parasitosis, to be precise. Consider:
“I also began to feel something crawling, a ticklish sensation all over my body. I couldn’t see anything on me though.”
“They usually begin by crawling up my calves, then proceed to my scalp, they go in my ears and sting me, and even in my nose. I have some bite marks that look kind of like mosquito bites, others look like pin pricks. They are vicious little creatures. I’ve been to the doctor four times, first my primary doctor, then one dermatologist twice, and another once. None of them believe it is scabies. The dermatologist took a stool specimen, some of my blood, and a biopsy of one of the bites. Then he, like the primary doctor, gave me permethrin 5% although he, like the primary dr. couldn’t find anything.”
“I have never been more depressed. This is worse than when I had walking pneumonia about 3 or 4 years ago, especially since you can’t see them.”
The website’s author thinks this might have been a bird mite infestation, but I have my doubts. The letter-writer thinks her cat and boyfriend are afflicted (her boyfriend is “starting to get the same symptoms”). She goes to remarkable lengths to rid herself of her bugs, coating herself with vaseline, flushing her ears with peroxide, cutting her hair, and pouring hot sauce on her legs. Significantly, when she stays in her boyfriend’s sister’s place for a few days, her symptoms disappear. Since when do mites (or chiggers, or lice) abandon you, when you move to a different apartment?
Quoting from another article,
Patients with DP [delusional parasitosis] can resist suggestions that their condition is psychiatric rather than physical and refuse referrals for psychiatric care. In fact, in 35% of patients, the belief of infestation is unshakable. In approximately 12% of patients, the delusion of infestation is shared by a significant other. This phenomenon is known as folie à deux (eg, craziness for 2) or folie partagé (ie, shared delusions). Variations in this are the conviction that a child, a spouse, or a pet is infested.
I don’t know . . . perhaps I’m wrong. In a follow-up letter, our afflicted correspondent notes,
we still don’t know for sure what the heck they were and which of the many things we tried finally did the trick in getting rid of the little beasts. And for the first few months afterward, I actually had nightmares that they were back! The good thing is that it did end, eventually.
Does delusional parasitosis just take care of itself after a while?
That eMedicine article (linked above) distinguishes DP from formication, the sense that ants are crawling on your skin. Some of my newer readers may not remember my favorite formication story, so here’s the link.
Good night already!
D.
For you Spanish-challenged readers, the secret ingredient will soon be obvious.
Adapted from the Traditional Flan recipe in Cuba Cocina. Preheat oven to 300F and ready your ingredients:
1/2 cup sugar, for caramelizing custard cups
2 cups whole milk
1/4 teaspoon salt
6 large eggs
1/3 cup granulated sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1. Come home from the grocery store and spend an hour vacuuming up the tiny flies which discovered your house a few months ago, spread the word to quadrillions of their friends, and returned to stay. Make three passes around the house, vacuuming at each window. Each pass is better than the previous, but no matter how many times you vacuum, there will always be flies.
It’s getting ugly at Chez Walnut.
And here’s the I CAN HAS CHEEZBURGER? version:
After a crappy night’s sleep, I saw 32 patients today (if not a record, it’s close), and when I got home, I had two hours worth of catch-up charting to do. My brain is a blancmange, and when that happens, you get reruns. Kwitcher bitchin — I don’t do this all that often.
Kate and Anduin might remember this one, but I suspect it will be new material for many of you.
Historical note: this post first aired July 31, 2005. Somehow, the Smart Bitches caught wind of it, shouted it on their blog, and suddenly I had me scads of romance readers/writers. Speaking of the Bitches, did you catch their April Fool’s Day front page? Bloody brilliant. It rices my kishkes from jealousy, it’s so brilliant.
Without further ado:
Everything I know about sex I learned from my tarantula
Yeah. Keep readin’.
This is Charlotte, our ferret. We used to have two, but her sister Emily escaped one day and never showed her twitchy nose again. My fault, unfortunately. I’ve never been good at multiprocessing, and one day, I tried simultaneously to give the ferrets some exercise and clean house. Emily slipped out, but the smarter and nicer Bronte remained.
I would love to think that Emily is sipping mojitos with other expatriate ferrets, chatting about the irresistible cache of stray socks and the unbearable yumminess of human toes, but alas, ferrets can’t exist without humans. Ours would only eat one brand of kitten chow and never, ever showed interest in other offerings. If Emily were dying of thirst and found a puddle of water, I doubt she would know what to do with it.
Not to mention the sad fact that something — a dog, perhaps — picked off the cats in that neighborhood. A ferret would be no match.
Charlotte doesn’t miss her sister. Emily was nasty to everyone, her sister included, and Charlotte’s personality improved greatly following Emily’s disappearance. We keep Charlotte up in our master bedroom so that she’ll feel part of the family. Kind of a bitch when she musks, but it’s worth it to keep her happy.
Short blog tonight — I want to start working on my Thirteen. Happy Hump Day!
D.