Balls and Walnuts
more than you ever wanted to know
Category Archives: asides
Carl, you don’t have to wipe up after fog.
- The fog comes
on little cat feet.
It sits looking
over harbor and city
on silent haunches
and then moves on.
The trouble with little cat feet? They leave little cat paw prints.
Two or three prints right there (I drew a box around one), several dozen on the rest of the counter. Karen says that on Arachnoboards, a list devoted to tarantula enthusiasts, someone once said, “The trouble is, they don’t just walk on your counters. They sit on them, too. Try putting red lipstick on your cat’s anus; later, you can count how many red smooches dot your counters.”
I don’t need red lipstick to prove it. My powers of observation suffice! And I shall not admit defeat to a cat. I have enlisted the aid of a motion-sensing ally.
The candles flash, the red eyes flash, and the speaker booms, “TRICK OR TREAT, BWAAHAHAHAHAAAA!” If it works, no paw prints, no butthole prints.
I haven’t checked yet to see if it’s working.
Live blogging tonight . . . oh, let’s make it 8, but I may be here sooner.
D.