Balls and Walnuts
more than you ever wanted to know
Mother’s Day prezzies
A friend was bemoaning not knowing what to buy her mom for Mother’s Day. Good thing, too, since this provided me a nice reminder about Mother’s Day. I have a bad habit of forgetting these things.
Karen, fortunately, is one of these people who hates Madison Avenue holidays. I usually get her something for Mother’s Day anyway (or I might fix her a dessert she likes), but if I forgot, I doubt she would be all that upset. MY mother, on the other hand . . .
She’s impossible to buy for. Well, yes and no. In reality, she’s super-easy to buy for. She likes baggy pastel sweatshirts with sequins, the gaudier the better.
Nope. Not gaudy enough. (She would like the color, though.) Maybe,
Enough sequins, but it’s black! Mustn’t have black. Her superstitions would give Freud material for three new books.
This next one is gaudy enough,
but the image of my mom in a teeny bikini bottom . . . *shiver*.
No, this next one is the best of the bunch.
Don’t you think so, Sis? Although it is rather sequin-poor.
So, yes, she’s easy to buy for IF I get her another gaudy pastel sequin-speckled baggy sweatshirt. Trouble is, I get tired of buying her the same old same old. I would like to mix it up sometimes. Get her a gift certificate for a pedicure, perhaps. Or hire a stripper to come out to their house. Now that would give my dad a heart attack.
Besides, you need to be careful about these stripper services. Friends of one of the local gals hired a stripper for her bachelorette party. The guy looked like Joe Dirt, got drunk on their booze, snagged one of the guests and had sex with her out in his van. And that was the classiest part of his act.
My mom likes unhealthy food, but if I buy her unhealthy food, she’ll complain. For a while, I would get her stuff from Harry and David, but she would complain about that, too. Finally I decided that food was a no-win situation.
Okay, I just now figured it out. If I run through my digital photos and pick out some good ones of me and Jake, print them out, make one of those multi-photo displays and frame it, she’ll love it.
On the other hand, a gaudy pastel sequin-speckled baggy sweatshirt would be the easier gift.
D.
It’s so unfair that I have to do Mother’s day twice every year, as the UK celebrates it on the last Sunday in March.
Doug, you should get one of those Bejeweler thingies I’ve seen on late nite shopping!! Your Mom and UberBling any old thing into Casino Couture in an afternoon!! (Your presents from her will sparkle forever) I have to reign my Mom in on the CC sometimes, she likes blinged up wolves and otters.
I’m still looking at Scottish Real Estate to see what your £500K will buy you. So far I found you a three bedroom terraced house in my old part of Edinburgh (paved in square of garden), No parking but the bus system is tops, or a five bedroom disused farm needing a bit of a face lift in the middle of nowhere.
I guess I’ve go some iced wild animals to source for Mom.
One of those multi-photo thingies, but baggy and covered with sequins!
That’ll do it.
My mother is an invalid now, and doesn’t go out, but when she did she also favoured baggy clothes in colours not found in nature. Puppy dogs, owls, and mice were favourites.
Have you learned nothing about our mother? A fat check is what I give her every time, and I never get a complaint. The only other alternative is if I’m with her, and she can pick out her own gift.
But, okay…I go with the blue one…it’s her color. The lilac one is hideous. Now if there is black in that first one…as you said, a no no.
On the other hand…the photos would be a hit.
I’m no help at all.
My mother is solidly in the “we have too much stuff already and are to die soon, so don’t give me anything camp”. This pretty much limits us to gift certificates for their favorite restaurants and photos of the grandchildren. Even the magazine subscriptions were too much (my dad hoards unread paper).
I agree with your sister that the lilac one is awful. My mother-in-law loved a velour track suit that I got one year in one of her favorite colors – sort of a dark avocado green. I could barely stand to have it in the house, but it was a great gift. I used to feel that both the giver (me) and the receipient had to like the gift, but I’m moved on.
Good luck with gifting!