Chicken Soup for the Stomach

This morning, PBW posts a few new publishing opportunities, including an open-ended solicitation from the Chicken Soup for the Soul Machine.

I confess to suspicion regarding CSS. Perhaps it’s my cynicism — I assume most of the stories CSS publishes are fictional. Perhaps it’s my reluctance to believe anything good can come from reading inspirational stories. You’re either a good person or you ain’t, and reading a few weepy-smileys isn’t going to turn a whole life around.

Or, maybe it’s because the CSS people have now become the newest Amway. Such blatant greed runs counter to their ostensible role as soul-nurturers.

Okay. That’s enough meanspiritedness. You want chicken soup? I’ve got the soup.

I think this is the first recipe I ever published online — initially under my Angstwolf moniker, later at doctorhoffman.com. If you look at the latter chicken soup recipe, you’ll read about the medical justification for chicken soup on a lovely matzo-cracker wallpaper designed by yours truly. Then you’ll see this disclaimer:

The recipe given below is not terribly kosher. I’m about as kosher as the stuff underneath a pig’s rear hoof, if you want the truth. (YES, I know I shouldn’t use butter.) Those of you expecting to find a kosher recipe for matzo ball soup should look elsewhere. THIS recipe simply tastes great!

Believe it or not, I’ve received hate mail for this recipe. Be forewarned: if you send me hate mail, your letter WILL show up on my blog.

Since posting that disclaimer, I no longer receive hate mail. My favorite was the person who felt I had disgraced my parents by putting butter in my matzo balls. Oh, how I wish I had saved that letter — it was a corker.

On to the recipe . . .

Ingredients:

1 cut up fryer
parsley, celery and yellow onion
salt and pepper
butter
matzo meal
flour
2 eggs
vegetable oil (preferably olive oil)

Rinse the chicken parts in cold water and pat dry with a paper towel. Lightly salt and pepper the chicken.

Make a flour/salt/pepper mixture (for example: 1/2 cup of flour, 1 teaspoon of salt, and 1 teaspoon of freshly ground black pepper). Dust the pieces with the mixture. The “shake and bake” method (minus the “bake”) works well: put the mixture into a plastic bag, add one or two pieces of chicken, seal and shake. Repeat with the other chicken pieces.

Put about 2 tablespoons of oil into a nonstick frying pan. When the oil is hot, add the chicken pieces. Do not crowd (i.e. the pieces should not touch one another). You may have to do this in two or three batches, adding oil as necessary. The object is to lightly brown the pieces on all sides. The only way to mess this up is to burn the pieces, so watch your heat; on the other hand, if your heat is too low, this step will take forever. As each piece becomes nicely browned (kind of a light golden color, really), place it in your soup pot, off the heat.

By the way, you can include things like necks and gizzards in the soup, but DO NOT include the chicken liver. Cook it up separately if you like, or throw it away. Chicken liver has no business being in soup — it will give it an off taste.

Add 5 or 6 cups of cold water to the chicken, enough to cover all of the pieces. Bring to a boil, then reduce to a simmer. You will let the chicken cook for about 40 minutes before adding anything else. Do your other preparation during this interval . . .

First, chop the onion, parsley, and celery. Use one medium onion, and two or three stalks of celery. Chop about 1/2 to 1 cup of parsley (how much do you like parsley, after all?) Save about one tablespoon of finely chopped parsley for the matzo balls. Also, chop the celery greens (the leafy bits)– all of them.

Prepare the matzo ball mix. Follow the proportions given in the recipe on the box of matzo meal, but use melted butter instead of vegetable oil. (Salted or unsalted, doesn’t make any difference. Use butter and not margarine, though.) For the “soup stock or water”, I use water. Add 1/4 teaspoon of freshly ground black pepper and the tablespoon of finely chopped parsley, and mix well. Refrigerate for at least 15 minutes.

After the soup has simmered for 40 minutes, dollop teaspoon-sized balls of the matzo ball mix into the soup. The mix will be thick enough that, if you really must have round matzo balls, you can roll them between two hands. Trust me, they will be delicious even if they look like little sofas. Raise the heat, bring the soup to a boil, then reduce to a simmer. Let the soup simmer gently for another 15 minutes before adding the vegetables (see below).

Add 1 or 2 tablespoons of oil to the same frying pan (don’t bother cleaning the frying pan first). Saute the celery, celery greens and onions. You don’t want to brown the vegetables; you only want to cook them a bit. The celery, in particular, should still be crunchy. By the way, this may sound a bit odd for a Jewish chicken soup, but garlic (if you like garlic) is a great addition to this soup. You can add two or three cloves of minced or crushed garlic to the vegetables when you saute them. Mushrooms make a yummy addition, too.

Add the sauteed vegetables and the parsley to the soup. Raise the heat until the soup returns to a boil, then reduce heat to a simmer. You can now start adjusting the flavor with salt and pepper. Cook for another 10 or 15 minutes. Ideally, the celery and onions are still a little crispy, and certainly not mushy.

Serve with a spoon 🙂

D.