Can it get much worse?
The army corps of engineers says the five or six people shot dead by police in New Orleans were contractors on their way to repair a canal.
I’m not sure why this is showing up first in the South African media, but I’ll wager it’s not a hoax.
No, I’m afraid it’s not a hoax. Here’s another link, this one from ABC news.
The story circling the blogiverse is: AP rushed to report the wrong story. Someone was shooting at the contractors; the police fired back, killing five of the shooters; none of the contractors was shot. Here’s the alternate story. Hopefully by tomorrow, we’ll have some sense of the facts.
P.S.: Thanks, Kate, for shouting out my bleached anus story. Personally, I think bleached assholes are a fine metaphor for the flock of ignorant Americans content with The Way Things Are. (Wasn’t that in Babe — “the way things are is the way things are”? And if a pig didn’t buy that logic, why should we? Ah, right. Babe was a smart pig.)
D.
My ferret has fleas
Debi’s busy blogging about her dog, which made me think: You know, there’s no way a dog can be as much trouble as my ferret, Charlotte.
Her sister Emily ran off one day. I’d stupidly left the screen door open while cleaning their cage, and she made a mad dash. Ferrets are so damned domesticated that they can’t forage on their own, so I knew right away she had zero chance of survival. Hateful creature that she was, I knew she wouldn’t come back out of any feeling of affection.
Charlotte’s attitude improved with Emily’s absence. That’s not supposed to happen, by the way. Ferrets are social creatures, so the pet store owner advised us not to buy just one. Nevertheless, Charlotte has been much more pleasant, playful, and less inclined to nip since Emily left.
I noticed today that her back looked red. When I picked her up, I saw her skin move. Crawl — that’s a better word.
She’d become infested with fleas, and I had never noticed. I’ve never seen her biting or scratching, not once, so how would I know? I have noticed that our house is crawling with fleas, but I assumed the cats were bringing them in. Little did I know that Charlotte had become a vector.
I sprayed her with flea spray and took her into the bathroom. For the next twenty minutes, Karen and I shampooed her repeatedly and picked fleas from everywhere. Easily, she had over a hundred fleas. We even picked one out of her mouth.
I’ve showered since, but my skin is still crawling.
This is not a fun three-day weekend.
Blog-pal Rae Alexander is the new kid on my blogroll. She’s head honcho of the North Coast Nature Center, which Karen and I support (with critter donations, naturally). Rae, if you’re reading this, pay attention to my flea story. Do you still think the Nature Center needs a mammal?
D.
Pucker up, pale face
So Lara Flynn Boyle got her anus bleached, and anal bleaching is all the rage in SoCal.
Let’s get back to that. My cortex still sizzles with political indignation over New Orleans, and anal bleaching figures prominently into this picture. First, let’s talk about Faux News, where Geraldo Rivera and Shepard Smith handed Sean Hannity’s head back to him when he tried to right-spin the disaster relief situation. What does it tell you when Big Brother’s Mouth spits vitriol in Big Brother’s face? (Yes, that is possible, given a stiff head wind. I’d say we have one, wouldn’t you?)
Last night, Karen and I talked about this, and she reminded me of the Wally George Show. George had one of the original right-wing-rage TV programs in the 80s. I think they continued to show reruns on into the 90s. Imagine O’Reilly with even fewer brain cells. George was a hideously ugly, feral subhuman with platinum blond helmut hair and a bile-bag for a brain.
Anyway. One day, he took a break from his usual parade of guests (transvestites, atheists, Planned Parenthood proponents, etc.) to interview a pair of women mud wrestlers. His all-male audience of Orange County cretins went wild. These gals came out in bikinis, oiled up from forehead to big toe, and they dished it back to George with humor and style. George initially did his usual schtick, spewing them with hatred, calling them wicked sluts and whatever else the censors would let him get away with, but they were unflappable. In a matter of minutes, they’d won over the audience. George’s face fell apart. He knew he was licked.
And he joined the other side.
He kidded those two women, did whatever he could to ingratiate himself, all because he couldn’t afford to lose his audience of Deliverance-era sycophants. And that, my friends, is the story at Faux News. What happens when a demagogue loses his audience? He changes his tune. How long before O’Reilly becomes openly critical of Mister Bush?
With the rats at Faux jumping ship, I know the end is near.
Speaking of ends.
Okay, so I can’t claim ownership of that asterisk-as-anus joke. Kurt Vonnegut beat me to it by several decades. Still, man. Still. Some jokes never get stale.
Why are women in Los Angeles getting their anuses bleached for $75 a treatment, and what connection does it have to the State of the Union? What photo-ops are these women expecting? And what other bits of precognition did Monty Python possess? (“Ano-Gum. To keep that OTHER smile white and bright.”)
I pride myself that I can get my head into just about any perversion imaginable. Not share that perversion, mind you, but understand it. And, yes, I can grasp the appeal of a bleached anus. If you’re engaged in sexual practices that require you to look at the blessed starfish, you don’t want to be reminded of its primary function. Dratted brown pigmentation! Isn’t there something you can do about it, doc?
Nevertheless, anal bleaching took me by surprise. I noticed a one-liner mention of it in this month’s Harper’s Magazine. Suspicious of a hoax, I googled ‘anal bleaching’. I invite you all to do the same. Go on, you know you want to. I’ll wait right here.
See? Satisfied?
Even though I can understand this latest thing, I can’t stop wondering what this implies for us as a civilization. Time for another detour.
I heard yesterday that doctors at Charity Hospital in New Orleans are having to decide who lives and who dies at the most fundamental level: apportionment of food and water. Despite what you might think of doctors, we really don’t want that kind of responsibility. My heart goes out to them, and I’ve done little but think (and fume) over their plight.
I also heard yesterday that evacuations were proceeding at New Orleans’ private hospitals, but had stalled for Charity. I’ve looked for recent news, and this report from Tuscaloosa’s WVUA is the best I can do. Admittedly, there may be a wealth of factors and problems here to which I’m not privy. But as best I can tell from this article, “patients, staff and family and guests” have been evacuated from Children’s Hospital and University Hospital, while “Charity Hospital’s evacuation stopped. [President and CEO of Acadian Ambulance Service Inc.’s Richard] Zuschlag said his pilots were afraid to land at the Superdome.”
Will someone please explain this to me? I can’t make heads nor tails from the WVUA article, but the mental picture I’m forming is mighty ugly.
Meanwhile, actresses in Los Angeles are getting their anuses bleached.
This morning, I had a long talk with my nurse anesthetist about this. (Yes, I’m working on a Saturday.) Dee had a great point. What happens when the upper crust of society has everything? Every wrinkle is collagen-injected or botoxed away; every food whim is satisfied; every sexual quirk can be begged for or bought; and we have a theopolitical government that says WE’RE NUMBER ONE militarily, religiously, culturally. (Sorry, Dee. Paraphrasing.) What does it say that we’re getting our anuses bleached at $75 a treatment while folks are dying by the thousands in New Orleans, and much of that suffering was preventable?
It says that our priorities, and our heads, are firmly up our puckered, bleached-white assholes.
D.
Assigning Blame
Forecasters predicted landfall and significant strengthening approximately 3 days in advance. Four out of five computer simulations showed a direct hit on New Orleans and they knew warm water temperatures in the Gulf of Mexico would increase the hurricane to Cat 4 or 5. Given the topography of New Orleans, government agencies have known for decades that a direct hit by a Cat 4+ would swamp the area and possibly kill 40,000. Shortly before landfall, Katrina swerved slightly to the east so the strongest part of the hurricane struck to the east of New Orleans; the devastation could have been even worse.
I do blame the federal government for their inability to respond both prior to and in the aftermath of the hurricane. I simply cannot understand why they didn’t do SOME of the following BEFORE the hurricane hit:
a) Commandeer every single bus in Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama and use them to evacuate people without cars. On the return trip, bring in supplies to the shelters in New Orleans and other coastal areas for those who aren’t able to leave in time.
b) Set up refugee centers in schools, auditoriums and military bases in areas safe from the hurricane, and bring in supplies and relief workers.
c) Mobilize the national guard from other states.
d) Commandeer supplies from ALL the supermarkets, sporting goods stores, etc. in and around New Orleans and Biloxi, and put them in the Superdome, the convention center and other shelters.
e) Fill up every available container with water. For that matter, fill every bathtub in hotels near the Superdome, and other shelters.
f) Put together a command and control center to be deployed immediately after the hurricane passes. BTW, doesn’t FEMA have the equipment ready to go on whenever a disaster hits? If so, why did it take so long to implement it?
Approximately 25% of New Orleans residents are below the poverty line and 50% of the children live in poverty. I have not seen ANY news reports that the poor were offered the opportunity to leave. Hundreds of buses are evacuating people now; why didn’t they do that before?
As it stands now, the lack of a timely response WILL result in a larger death toll if the news stories are accurate. CNN and MSNBC are reporting that many people in the shelters have gone without water since the hurricane hit, and there are people still trapped in their homes by floodwater. The emergency is going into its 5th day and the refugees aren’t going to survive much longer without food, water and medical attention.
Bush is getting a lot of negative coverage in the media. A lot of the national guard and the Army Corps of Engineers are in Iraq but it’s unknown how that is affecting the relief efforts. Former goverment aid officials are severely criticizing FEMA for bungling the emergency, however. Congress is passing a bill for $10.5 billion for relief efforts but I’m suspicious that the money will be siphoned off to various corporations; I may be overly cynical but the Bush Admin hasn’t shown much integrity in awarding government contracts. In any case, a recent opinion poll shows Bush’s approval ratings on handling the crisis are very negative and gasoline prices are shooting through the roof which is not adding to his popularity.
The bottom line is that federal and state emergency planning and execution was lacking. Even Bush is admitting that the government response has been problematic which is an amazing admission from a man who never admits errors or takes responsibility for anything.
I also posted this comment on Pen and Sword:
Several months ago, the NOAA predicted a heavy hurricane season, currently projected at 20 tropical storms and 10 hurricanes where 6 of them become major hurricanes. There’s a distinct possibility that the gulf states will be hit by more hurricanes before the season ends on Nov. 30th.
Because Steve says it a hell of a lot better than I can
I can’t be funny about the mess this country is in, and I can’t rant about it half as well as Steve Gilliard can.
While you’re at it, check out the masterful coverage Jeff Huber has provided today.
Karen, thank heavens, handles the political thinnin’ around here, so I don’t have to.
If you are in the ever-shrinking minority that thinks Mister Bush is doing a fine job, don’t bother following these links. Just keep your head in the sand.
D.
Aid for New Orleans
If I get started on a rant, I’m going to stroke out. I’ve tried to keep my mouth shut about this because (A) this isn’t a political blog, and (B) I’ve never been very good at expressing political opinions.
I’ll focus on what matters. Here’s where we made our donation:
America’s Second Harvest, the Nation’s Food Bank Network
They promise that 100% of your donation will go to disaster relief efforts. The American Red Cross, of course, is another worthy agency.
At least I’m not alone in my fury. Over at Daily Kos, there’s a pertinent article concerning the President’s approval rating with respect to his handling of the disaster. Guess what: he’s tanking.
Impeachment, anyone?
D.
Page-turners
What makes a book a page-turner?
When I’m in the office, I have lots to do: read PC Gamer, Harper’s Magazine, Science, Nature, or even the random professional journal; surf blogs; catch up on my bottomless chart basket; feed the frogs. And I see patients, too.
That’s why it’s always remarkable when I find a book that demands I keep reading it no matter what. I’ll squeeze in a half hour of reading time before the patients roll in, five or ten minutes between patients, and my lunch break, all to finish the damned book. This is uncommon enough that I can count these books on one hand.
The Steenking Rose
“Guess what,” said the husband. “We have to eat it raw. It’s the only way we can taste it nowadays.”
Garlic has modest antiplatelet and lipid-lowering effects. There’s even some weak evidence that a diet rich in garlic lowers the risk of colon and stomach cancers. You know what? I don’t give a damn. I like garlic because it tastes good and it gets me high.
Yeah, you heard me. I get a buzz off garlic.
I’ve tried to find a web reference to back me up on this, but all I can find is this quote from Tantrik Vegetarianism:
By now the reader might ask: “Why are onion, garlic and mushrooms bad?” As a matter of fact, onion and garlic are good for the body. They are bad for the mind. All three irritate and heat lower chakras (psychospiritual centers) and, thus, tend to make a person more irritable, distracted and sexually indiscriminant.
It’s true, too. After eating a head of raw garlic, I’ll shag anything that moves. More:
Garlic is a good medicine: its antibacterial and blood purifying qualities have been known for centuries. Ginger has similar qualities without the negative mental effects (and bad smell) of garlic.
I’m sorry. Ginger cheese bread doesn’t do it for me. Which reminds me:
My apologies for not giving precise measurements. You’ll have to wing it.
Combine softened butter with freshly grated parmesan cheese (Reggiano, puhlease!) and paprika. Mash together. Dried basil is a nice addition, too.
Slice a loaf of good quality French bread lengthwise. Toast it under the broiler until golden.
Take raw, peeled garlic cloves and ‘sand’ them against the toasted French bread. Rub them against the crust as well as the toasted cut surface of the loaf.
Spread the butter/cheese/herb mixture on the loaf’s cut surface and return it to the broiler. Watch it carefully. Once the cheese has melted and browned slightly, you’re done.
Remember: you can get the garlic smell off your fingers by rubbing them on a stainless steel spoon or butter knife held under running water.
That married couple was right. By the time I hit thirty, I couldn’t taste cooked garlic anymore.
Nowadays, if I load a red sauce with a dozen crushed cloves I might detect a hint, but it’s subtle, not satisfying, and it won’t give me that delightful garlic buzz. By the way, this isn’t an [insert your favorite illegal drug’s name here] kind of high, but an “I feel so good about the world and all the creatures in it!” sort of feeling.
Dosage recommendation: you need to consume enough that you ooze the garlic smell from your pores and your breath withers cacti.
Here’s another fine recipe for saturating yourself in garlic:
This simple sauce can be used on vegetables (cooked or raw), bread, fish, you name it. Be sure you soak your anchovies in milk first to de-salt them a bit.
One stick of butter
One can of anchovies (2 ounces)
Bunches and bunches of garlic cloves, crushed (start with 6 and add more to taste)
Melt the butter over low heat. Add crushed garlic and anchovies. The garlic should sizzle very little or not at all. Press the anchovies with a spoon; as the melted butter heats up, the anchovies will fall apart and seem to melt. Heat thoroughly. The more you heat this, the milder the garlic flavor will become.
If you’re feeling health conscious, substitute a mixture of canola oil and olive oil for the butter. Heathen.
Jake has decided to read To Kill A Mockingbird first. My fingers are crossed.
D.
Thanks for the tips, folks
I appreciate all the input you’ve given me regarding Jake’s curriculum. I knew I could count on you.
I had a longer day in the OR than I thought, so I’m going to fall back on this little snippet of fluff I wrote last night. More later, maybe. I must exercise.
Since I’m in the OR today, this is all you get for the morning. Bare Rump took her test last night. Check it out.
Interestingly, I had an easier time answering for Bare Rump than I did for myself. What the hell does that mean?
D.
| Clark Gable You scored 9% Tough, 28% Roguish, 38% Friendly, and 23% Charming! |
| You’re a pretty interesting guy, all man but approachable and friendly. You like the lovely ladies, but you’re also a real stand up guy with a true sense of honor and duty. You’re respected by most men, although they probably wouldn’t trust you alone with their girlfriends and even wives. Women find you intriguing, drawn to your playful sense of fun and true-blue core. You think most women are rather silly, but strong dames with smarts really turn you on, and you tend to marry them. Leading ladies include Claudette Colbert and Vivien Leigh, women who find you somewhat charming but a little dangerous.Find out what kind of classic dame you’d make by taking the Classic Dames Test. |
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