{"id":30,"date":"2005-04-29T07:43:00","date_gmt":"2005-04-29T07:43:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/ballsandwalnuts.com\/?p=30"},"modified":"2006-02-05T19:12:25","modified_gmt":"2006-02-05T19:12:25","slug":"its-a-splendisaster","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ballsandwalnuts.com\/?p=30","title":{"rendered":"It&#8217;s a Splendisaster"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Last night, addled by caffeine, I lay awake trying to carve my novel&#8217;s final tableau from the killing fields of Story Space. (One nice thing about Story Space: resurrections are common.) I have no fewer than ten characters converging on one place. Ten named characters. I&#8217;m not counting all those giant spiders and killer boars. So it has to be stage-managed without looking stage-managed, inevitable, yet not contrived . . .<\/p>\n<p>No small wonder that my approach to the ending has been asymptotic at best.<\/p>\n<div>***<\/div>\n<p>For several days, I&#8217;ve been meaning to write a glowing review of Dreyer&#8217;s No Sugar Added Vanilla Ice Cream. It&#8217;s Splendalicious! It&#8217;s Splendarific! I&#8217;ve gained three pounds in four days!<\/p>\n<p>Maybe . . . I mean, just maybe . . . the Atkins folks are wrong, and calories do matter.  Maybe it is a bad idea to douche my esophagus with saturated fat. Maybe I should go back to salads and boiled eggs for dinner.<\/p>\n<p>Do three pounds show on me? You betcha. My son walked in on me last night after I&#8217;d taken my shower (we are still working on this &#8216;knocking on the door&#8217; thing) and informed me that my ass jiggles when I walk. The horror.<\/p>\n<div>***<\/div>\n<p>Hitchhiker&#8217;s Guide opens tonight. If the family is willing, I&#8217;m there. A quick <a href=\"http:\/\/www.google.com\/reviews?cid=b3d9065dafc848b8&#038;oi=showtimes&#038;fq=Hitchhiker%27s+Guide+\">scan of the reviews<\/a> suggests this movie may be a mixed bag, but with Alan Rickman voicing Marvin the Paranoid Android, how bad can it be? Watch this space.<\/p>\n<p>D.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Last night, addled by caffeine, I lay awake trying to carve my novel&#8217;s final tableau from the killing fields of Story Space. (One nice thing about Story Space: resurrections are common.) I have no fewer than ten characters converging on one place. Ten named characters. I&#8217;m not counting all those giant spiders and killer boars.&hellip; <a class=\"continue\" href=\"https:\/\/ballsandwalnuts.com\/?p=30\">Continue Reading It&#8217;s a Splendisaster<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-30","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-writers-life","radius"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/ballsandwalnuts.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/30","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/ballsandwalnuts.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/ballsandwalnuts.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ballsandwalnuts.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ballsandwalnuts.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=30"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/ballsandwalnuts.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/30\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/ballsandwalnuts.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=30"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ballsandwalnuts.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=30"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ballsandwalnuts.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=30"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}