{"id":277,"date":"2005-10-08T15:02:00","date_gmt":"2005-10-08T23:02:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/ballsandwalnuts.com\/?p=277"},"modified":"2006-03-25T13:29:37","modified_gmt":"2006-03-25T21:29:37","slug":"your-joe-dirt-fix-for-the-weekend","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ballsandwalnuts.com\/?p=277","title":{"rendered":"Your Joe Dirt<\/i> fix for the weekend"},"content":{"rendered":"

I’m under the weather this weekend, thanks to dysentery*. No, I didn’t eat food sold out of the back-end of a trailer, but I am reappraising the infamous “three-second rule” as regards food that falls on my kitchen floor. Next time, if the cat wants the scraps that much, she can have ’em.<\/p>\n

Long and short of it is, you’re getting the short of it. No tomes from yours truly, but if I can’t make you laugh, I’ll lead you to someone who can.<\/p>\n

\n
<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n
My brother Jake holds the park record. He once jumped over 7 trailers.
\nJake crashes a lot and talks real slow now. The doctor told him to wear a helmet.<\/div>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Check out Averell’s Home Page<\/a>. Is it PC? Hell no. In fact, I’m sure that once I’m back in my usual state of health, I’ll regret ever posting this link.<\/p>\n

D.<\/p>\n

*Only a mild exaggeration.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I’m under the weather this weekend, thanks to dysentery*. No, I didn’t eat food sold out of the back-end of a trailer, but I am reappraising the infamous “three-second rule” as regards food that falls on my kitchen floor. Next time, if the cat wants the scraps that much, she can have ’em. Long and… Continue Reading Your Joe Dirt<\/i> fix for the weekend<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[21,14],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-277","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-blogwhoring","category-humor","radius"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/ballsandwalnuts.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/277","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/ballsandwalnuts.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/ballsandwalnuts.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ballsandwalnuts.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ballsandwalnuts.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=277"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/ballsandwalnuts.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/277\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/ballsandwalnuts.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=277"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ballsandwalnuts.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=277"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ballsandwalnuts.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=277"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}