{"id":1226,"date":"2006-08-30T21:08:44","date_gmt":"2006-08-31T05:08:44","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/ballsandwalnuts.com\/?p=1226"},"modified":"2007-01-01T10:43:16","modified_gmt":"2007-01-01T18:43:16","slug":"thursday-thirteen-a-medical-quiz","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ballsandwalnuts.com\/?p=1226","title":{"rendered":"Thursday Thirteen: a medical quiz"},"content":{"rendered":"

We did the up-close-and-personal getting-to-know-me stuff last week<\/a>. This week, let’s just have some fun. No fair googling the answers.<\/p>\n

1.<\/strong> For starters, name the pierced structure:<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

I’m constantly amazed how many folks don’t know what this is. “Little hangy downy thingie,” that’s a popular name. Or “the man in the boat” — whoops, different mucus membrane.<\/p>\n

My favorite piercing story: I’m examining a not well-preserved woman in her 60s. “Say ah,” says I, whereupon she proudly shows me her tongue piercing. Her husband laughs behind me, just like Goofy: HYUK HYUK HYUK! and I’m getting the nastiest mental images of what she’s been doing with that piercing.<\/p>\n

“Oh,” I say. “You got your tongue pierced.”<\/p>\n

Her husband sticks his tongue out and HE’S pierced, too. “Yeah, we got a two-fer!”<\/p>\n

What a county.<\/p>\n

2.<\/strong> What is the modern term for the disease lues<\/strong>?<\/p>\n

Hint:<\/em> I apologized to this kindly old great-grandpa for ordering the blood test. “Well, you know,” hem, haw, beat around the bush, “for all you know, your wife might have other boyfriends, and you know how some men are, always seeing prostitutes –“<\/p>\n

“Yup. Did it all the time.”<\/p>\n

“Oh. Right.” He still<\/em> looked like a kindly old great-grandpa. “So you won’t mind if I order the test.”<\/p>\n

“Nope. Not one bit.”<\/p>\n

3. <\/strong>What is the common name for this not-so-wee beasty?<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

I have a great joke about how you get rid of these things. It involves a cookie, an apple, and a hammer. We’ll save it for some other time.<\/p>\n

4.<\/strong> Prions<\/strong> are<\/p>\n

(A) DNA viruses
\n(B) RNA viruses
\n(C) You’re making this sh!t up, aren’t you?
\n(D) Noncoding segments of DNA
\n(E) The infectious agent causing mad cow disease<\/p>\n

5. <\/strong>What is this compound?<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

(A) Rubbing alcohol
\n(B) Methamphetamine
\n(C) Cocaine
\n(D) common table salt — and you thought you could trick me!
\n(E) TNT (trinitrotoluene)<\/p>\n

6.<\/strong> Which of the following childhood illnesses lacks an effective vaccine?<\/p>\n

(A) Red measles
\n(B) German measles
\n(C) Haemophilus influenzae
\n(D) Mumps
\n(E) Adolescent angst<\/p>\n

7.<\/strong> You are camping in the wilderness and you realize your spouse forgot to pack toilet paper. With which leaf should you wipe?<\/p>\n

or ?<\/p>\n

8. DSM IV<\/strong> is:<\/p>\n

(A) A form of morphine administered intravenously
\n(B) A monoclonal antibody used in the treatment of rheumatoid arthritis
\n(C) The most extreme form of sadomasochistic paraphilia
\n(D) A manual which lists diagnostic criteria of mental illnesses
\n(E) Palmar hair growth among chronic masturbators<\/p>\n

9.<\/strong> Cosmetic surgeons call this nasal shape (from emedicine.com):<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

(A) Polly beak deformity
\n(B) Hook nose
\n(C) Dorsal hump
\n(D) Luetic septal collapse
\n(E) Michael Jackson, 6 months post-Thriller<\/em><\/p>\n

10. Gephyrophobia<\/strong> is:<\/p>\n

(A) Fear of sexual intercourse
\n(B) Fear of ferrets and weasels
\n(C) Fear of crossing bridges
\n(D) Fear of sandstorms
\n(E) Fear of fear<\/p>\n

11.<\/strong> Look closely at this ear.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

This problem was caused by:<\/p>\n

(A) A viral infection
\n(B) Leprosy
\n(C) Repeated trauma
\n(D) A sexually transmitted disease
\n(E) Dietary deficiency<\/p>\n

12. Dermestid beetles<\/strong><\/p>\n

(A) Are the source of the supposed aphrodisiac, Spanish Fly
\n(B) Are the number three cause of blindness in the Third World
\n(C) Are used by forensic pathologists in their work
\n(D) Are tiny insects which cause intense subungual (beneath the fingernail) itching
\n(E) Have a super-intelligent hive mind and are planning world domination<\/p>\n

13.<\/strong> Examine this abdominal X-ray:<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

The first question you should ask this patient is:<\/p>\n

(A) You want fries with that?
\n(B) Should I remove it or change the batteries?
\n(C) Isn’t it a bugger when they get away from you like that?
\n(D) Does it pick up all the best radio stations?
\n(E) Maybe I should shut the eff up already, eh?<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

Answers.<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

1. <\/strong>This, my friends, is the uvula<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

2. Syphilis<\/strong><\/p>\n

3. Tapeworm<\/strong><\/p>\n

4. (E)<\/strong> Here’s the wiki<\/a> so you can learn more.<\/p>\n

5. (C)<\/strong> Cocaine.<\/strong> If you fell for (D), please don’t tell me.<\/p>\n

6. (E)<\/strong> Yeah, I had to throw in at least one easy question.<\/p>\n

7.<\/strong> The one on the right is maple, which should be safe. The one on the left is poison ivy. Remember, “Leaves of three, don’t wipe with me.”<\/p>\n

8. (D)<\/strong> “Diagnostic and Statistical Manual IV (4)”<\/p>\n

9. (A) Polly beak deformity.<\/strong> Hey, I don’t come up with these things. I’d be pretty pissed, too.<\/p>\n

10.<\/strong> (C) <\/strong>Fear of crossing bridges.<\/p>\n

11. (C)<\/strong> Repeated trauma. This is a cauliflower ear.<\/p>\n

12. (C) <\/strong>Dermestid beetles are used for preparing skulls. Hungry little buggers.<\/a><\/p>\n

13. All of the above. <\/strong><\/p>\n

How did you do?<\/p>\n

Leave a message in the comments, and I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll give you some cool linky love below.<\/p>\n

Darla’s secrets to a happy marriage (great list, D!)<\/a><\/p>\n

Kris’s having a survey (so what if it’s only 8 and not 13)<\/a><\/p>\n

Trish’s 13 screwups on a job interview . . . priceless<\/a><\/p>\n

\n

Technorati tag: thursday thirteen<\/a><\/div>\n

D.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

We did the up-close-and-personal getting-to-know-me stuff last week. This week, let’s just have some fun. No fair googling the answers. 1. For starters, name the pierced structure:<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[19,34],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1226","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-the-barbarous-craft","category-thirteen-candles","radius"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/ballsandwalnuts.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1226","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/ballsandwalnuts.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/ballsandwalnuts.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ballsandwalnuts.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ballsandwalnuts.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1226"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/ballsandwalnuts.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1226\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/ballsandwalnuts.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1226"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ballsandwalnuts.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1226"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ballsandwalnuts.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1226"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}