Balls and Walnuts
more than you ever wanted to know
Monthly Archives: February 2010
Unfortunate names
Over at the Bad Product Names blogspot, you can discover all kinds of rotten trade names. (I see they’ve picked up on the irony that is Publishit.com.) We’ve all heard about the Chevy Nova (bombing in Central and South America, since Nova = no va = “it doesn’t go”), but Kum & Go gas station? And I’m glad I’m not the only one who thinks Wii is a hella stupid name for anything.
But tonight, I heard a commercial for a drug with a most unfortunate name.
Main Entry: qui·etus
Pronunciation: \kwÄ«-ˈē-tÉ™s, -ˈÄ-\
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English quietus est, from Medieval Latin, he is quit, formula of discharge from obligation
Date: 15401 : final settlement (as of a debt)
2 : removal from activity; especially : death
3 : something that quiets or represses
The manufacturers are thinking of definition 3.
I (and who knows how many other folks) am familiar with the word primarily from its second definition.
Honey, did you remember to take your dose of Lethal tonight?
D.
Duggars on PEOPLE MAGAZINE!
It was bound to happen eventually: Michelle Duggar gave birth to a premie. Not just a premie, but a “micropremie,” scarcely heavier than one pound, born at 25 weeks gestation. When I was in med school and residency (late 80s, early 90s), 25 weeks was considered the lower limit of survivability, and few of these kids made it. I’m not sure what the current lower limit is, but I’ve met children who had been micropremies younger than 25 weeks.
So now we know how many kids you need to have in order to make the cover of People: 19. Not surprisingly, Michelle and Jim Bob say they would be delighted to have more, despite the scathing criticism of . . . what? On-line chat groups? Blogs? Says Michelle: “When I say we would love more children, we open ourselves up for attack.”
I picked up this issue of People because the cover hinted at reportage of the controversy. “THE DUGGARS UNDER FIRE.” “HOW MANY KIDS ARE TOO MANY?” But the story itself pussyfoots, with only a few hints of criticism. A quote from Dr. Jeffrey Richardson, a California obstetrician: “The risks of additional pregnancies start to go up dramatically after four.”
Get that? The risks to the mom. Or, perhaps, to the neonate. How about the children, who are left to raise their younger sibs or be raised by older sibs? Psychologist Michelle Gannon: “What tends to happen in such large families is that the older siblings parent the younger ones and begin to manage the family. The children, the very young ones, get their emotional and physical needs met by their siblings.” She goes on to say (wishy washy alert!!!): “Is it fair? I don’t know. Hopefully, everyone’s needs are being met.”
What do I know? I know that Michelle will have to stop some time soon.
They’re running out of J names.
D.
The Hitler YouTube meme
Are you familiar with the YouTube meme of taking the famous Hitler rant scene from Downfall and inserting novel subtitles? Here’s a good example:
I’ve lost track of how many of these I have watched. Hitler gets banned from Xbox Live; Hitler gets a girl pregnant; Hitler reacts to a ban on KFC nuggets. There must be hundreds of these. There’s even one in which Hitler rants against the proliferation of Hitler rant videos. Seems like anyone and everyone with video capture and editing software has made a Hitler rant video. Some of them are brilliant, some atrocious.
What’s happening, I think, is that we’re looking at the juxtaposition of (A) a stupendous performance and (B) that guy everyone loves to hate. Hitler himself has become so trite as a symbol of evil that it’s considered poor form to resort to a Hitler reference in an argument (see Godwin’s Law). You could try doing something like this with another great foreign language monologue, but if your subject ain’t Hitler, I doubt your video will find much traction.
The film itself, Downfall, is quite good, although depressing. Like most American Jews of a certain age, I was raised on Hitler this and Hitler that. I lost track of how many WWII movies my father dragged me off to. So for me to like a movie about Hitler, well, it says something about quality. Well worth a Net Flix rental.
D.
I’m reserving judgment.
Our Nook has arrived.
Our Nook has arrived with its seven-step instructional leaflet describing how to set up your Nook how to get your Nook out of its childproof packaging. I gagged on Step 5 (“While still attached in its tray, pull your nook and the tray straight up. Lift the bottom end first and then unhook the top, while holding down the bottom case against a flat surface, such as a table. Your nook and its tray should slide off of the bottom case.”) Karen figured it out.
Three minutes into the on-screen orientation, my Nook hung. I was attempting to navigate to the first page of Pride and Prejudice, which comes pre-loaded onto the Nook (along with Dracula and Little Women) when the little bastard froze on me. Karen figured that out, too. Or at least, she figured out how to reboot.
Right now, she’s downloading the update. We’re hoping that will take care of the freezing problem. For the time being, I’m going to reserve judgment about the Nook. I give B&N points for not getting cutesy (they could have written, “Your nook and her tray should slide off of the bottom case,” but they wisely kept the gender neutral) but jeez, guys, haven’t you ever heard of beta testing? What kind of word of mouth do you expect if you send out a buggy device?
D.