Monthly Archives: August 2007


Grumpy old men

Home } The Barbarous Craft } Grumpy old men

So a new patient storms out of the waiting room before he ever signs his paperwork. In fact, that’s the precipitating factor for his hissy fit — “MY LAWYER TOLD ME TO NEVER SIGN ANYTHING!” After cussing out my office staff (yes, he was verbally abusive), growling, fussing, and fuming for several minutes, he leaves.

And I think: Cool. This problematic, unpleasant dude weeds himself out before he becomes my patient.

And that’s the coolest thing about this situation: he’s not my patient. I have no doctor-patient relationship with him. I can talk about him all I like, and I’m not violating confidentiality rules. Not that there’s much to say; you’ve heard the whole story.

I suppose I should be more compassionate about this situation. Maybe he really does need an ENT. Maybe he’s too senile to understand why his doctor sent him here, or maybe his doctor is an uncommunicative cuss who never told the patient why he (the doc) made the referral. Maybe this old guy will experience untold suffering as a result of missing today’s visit.

Call me a heel, but all I see is one less headache.

***

Here’s a dirty joke for you.

This husband and wife have always had sex with the lights off. Pitch dark, that’s how he likes it, and she has been happy to oblige.

Lately, however, she has begun to wonder — why all the secrecy? What’s he hiding from me? So one night, in the midst of a good rogering, she reaches up and turns on the end table lamp — and finds him holding a dildo!

“A dildo,” she says.

“Ah, yup,” he says.

“Is that why we’ve always had sex with the lights off?”

“Ah, yup.”

“Would you like to tell me why?”

“Sure,” he says, “when you explain how we got three kids.”

D.

, August 14, 2007. Category: The Barbarous Craft.

I CAN HAS FRUTEFLIZ?

Home } Critter foo } I CAN HAS FRUTEFLIZ?

Just bought some new froggies. I’ll take some pix of my own when they arrive, but for now, here are a few links . . .

Dendrobates tinctorius ‘Cobalt’

Dendrobates auratus “Costa Rican Green & Black”

Mantella laevigata

G’night!

D.

, August 13, 2007. Category: Critter foo.

Argument clinic

Home } Blogwhoring } Argument clinic

Back when I played biologist, I used to say if you could imagine a situation in nature, nature would (eventually) provide an example. That’s not entirely true — see niches, unfilled — but it sure seemed true at the time.

I suspect it IS true in the blogosphere, though; and today I found an ounce of proof: someone has come up with an argument clinic that does John Cleese proud. (Hat tip to Crooks and Liars.)

Meet BlogWarBot (and take note of several great arguments in their comment section). Here’s my argument (I’m “guest”):

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, August 13, 2007. Category: Blogwhoring, Humor.

Lemon squares

Home } Food } Lemon squares

I misread my friend’s recipe and added two TABLEspoons of lemon zest — doh! And while Jake declared they were too lemony, Karen and I thought they were perfect.

I need to take a class in digital photography.

Essentially, this is lemon curd baked over a shortbread crust. They kick ass over the store-bought lemon square mixes, so don’t even go there.

1 cup all purpose flour
1/2 cup butter, softened
1/4 cup powdered sugar
1 cup granulated sugar
2 teaspoons grated lemon peel
2 tablespoons lemon juice
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
2 eggs

Heat oven to 350 degrees. Mix flour, butter, baking powder, and powdered sugar. (I processed these ingredients in the food processor. Easy.) Press in ungreased square pan, 8x8x2 or 9x9x2 inches, building up 1/2 inch edges. Bake 20 minutes. Beat remaining ingredients about 3 minutes or until light and fluffy. Pour over hot crust.

Bake about 25 minutes or until no indentation remains when touched lightly in center; cool. Sprinkle with powdered sugar if desired. Cut into 1 1/2 inch squares.

Makes 25 squares, 90 calories per square.

I baked mine for 30 minutes, and I suspect I could have baked it a few minutes longer.

I should mention that I’m not sure where she got this recipe — off the web somewhere, no doubt. She went searching for a recipe reminiscent of the one she used back in high school, and this is what she came up with. In my opinion, yes, these are the real deal, just like I remember.

I’m feeling better today, thanks to an unbroken eight hours of sleep. I’ll try to show up this evening around 7 to 8 for live-blogging. See ya soon!

D.

, August 12, 2007. Category: Food.

Sick

Home } such as it is } Sick

. . . but funny.

A True Stick Death

and, yeah, I’m not feeling all that well this evening. Not sleeping well, the usual story.

Don’t count on me for live blogging tonight. Tomorrow, perhaps.

D.

PS: My favorite Stick Death: Act of God.

, August 11, 2007. Category: such as it is.

Friday Flickr Babes: Hunka Hunka Burnin’ Love

Home } Pix } Friday Flickr Babes: Hunka Hunka Burnin’ Love

From sxKitten’s photostream . . .

Q: Why are these two men smiling?

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, August 10, 2007. Category: Pix, The Fearful Meme.

Thirteen Abominations

Home } Thirteen Candles } Thirteen Abominations

If that title strikes you as familiar, big fluffy brownie points to you for having a great memory. I’ve written not one but TWO “Abominations” Thirteens, both of which were about food. But recently, Erin O’Brien opened my eyes to one of the world’s other abominations — and it has nothing to do with food!

But I’m going to make you wait for that one . . .

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, August 9, 2007. Category: Thirteen Candles.

Music for the Resistance

Home } Music } Music for the Resistance

Cross-posted over at Daily Kos.

I’m not sure which is more depressing: that the House and Senate caved to White House intimidation over the “need” for broader domestic surveillance powers, or that none of my patients — including a local attorney — seems to have heard anything about it.

Like many Americans, I had a spike of hope when Democrats won control of the House and Senate last November. Since then, Republican/White House obstructionism combined with the cowardice of certain Democratic members of Congress has tempered (if not destroyed) that hope. And when I despair, I turn to the political blogs for hope; and when those blogs drive me further into depression, I listen to music.

This is a post about the new Nine Inch Nails CD, Year Zero.

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, August 8, 2007. Category: Music, Political rants.

Too short to be taken seriously

Home } Blogwhoring } Too short to be taken seriously

Tonight, Indecision 2008 features their Candidate Casting Couch: The Simpsons, wherein their writers have decided who among the Simpsons’ cast best matches the 2008 Presidential candidates. For example,


Dennis Kucinich = Lisa Simpson
Good message, always on point, vegetarian, too short to be taken seriously

Funny post, lots funnier than this one will be. You see, I am not in a humorous mood; I have more serious matters in mind. I’m provoked by curious about that phrase, “too short to be taken seriously.” Trouble is, I suspect they’re right. Think about it. Over the ages, how many ultrashort men have been taken seriously?

Well, this guy, for one — the original Napoleon Dynamite:

And, in recent history, former Secretary of Labor Robert Reich,

Sweet Jeebus, aren’t there any more important tall people? Well, there’s always this guy —

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, August 7, 2007. Category: Blogwhoring, such as it is.

Chicken Soup Made Easy

Home } Food } Chicken Soup Made Easy

I’ve served you matzo ball soup before. But who has time to brown the chicken pieces? And besides, no one likes to pick meat off the bone when they’re drinking soup. It’s so messy.

Word to the wise: don’t do a Google image search for “chick” with SafeSearch off — unless, of course, you’re in the mood for that sort of thing.

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, August 6, 2007. Category: Food.
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