Pain!

YES, I managed to write my NaNoWriMo quota today. NO, it wasn’t fun. In yesterday’s comments, Suisan wrote,

I can definitely see that the first week will be exciting, but I anticipate problems keeping up the pace next week and the next. Hmmmmm.

Next week? Next week? It’s only Day 2, and I’m already chafing. I don’t like this. I want to finish reading Things Fall Apart before I forget all those similar-sounding tribal names. I want to waste time playing computer games. I want to read someone’s blog besides my own (or the evil Sarah, who tempts me with her condom rants and tales of sex with pregnant women — and, may I say it? That is the best).

I’m reminded of a hideously ugly female I met when I was a kid. She was wider than she was tall and had all sorts of hideous crusties all over her body. Oh, hell. A picture is worth etc. Meet Mrs. Horta:

That’s her on the right, next to a few silicon balls, which are in fact her children! Since she was the last of her kind, Captain Kirk wanted to kill her, but Spock mind-melded with her and learned that she was in PAIN! PAIN! and was killing the miners only because they were stealing her eggs, or crushing them, or bowling with them. I can’t remember.

Right now I feel just like Mrs. Horta. I have to plop out so-many silicon balls a day or my species will die. Ugh, this metaphor dies an early death. Who is Spock? Spock would be Suisan and Jona and all y’all who are feeling the same pain. Who is Kirk? That would have to be Maureen, cuz she got me into this and that’s how mean I’m feeling right now.

Question: What denizen of hell thought up NaNoWriMo?

Question: I think I can do this, but will I be better for it, come December 1st? Or will my muse rebel to the point that I will no longer be able to sign prescriptions?

More serious question for my UK pals (and any history wonks in the audience): Can anyone recommend a good book on the English Civil Wars? Karen thought that would be a good place to start Jake’s education on revolutions.

If you haven’t already done so, give me your vote on the “Hot or Not” gizmo on the right side bar. Hint: 10 is better than 1.

Does it matter? Heck no. I don’t get a single referral through those guys, so I don’t know why I bother. But, you know something? It’s the principle of the thing.

D.

Technorati tag: NaNoWriMo

NaNoWriMo: opening gate casualties

Here I am at the end of Day 1 with 1810 words completed. 1810 good words, I might add. Here’s the opening:

All across the Silk Road, sentient beings share a similar curse. May your eyes never converge, say the Amanu of hidden S’dep, while on the cold stone world of Vora, the hideous Elkalept chant the couplet, Twelve points his claws / Warm prey on each. That rhymes in Bebili, if you can believe my Exotic Studies professor.

My personal favorite is the Roon Vissar expression, It is the wild tail that wags the weary dog, but the Dobolu High-tusks oink it differently: To snuffle up a smorgasbord. Here on Sylvanon, we Benevolents say, Your TiVo runneth over; yet no one puts it as plainly as the Chinamen of Earth: You should live in interesting times.

I used to think I lived in interesting times. Looking back on it, I see now that my life in Gollywood reveled in boring sameness. My days and nights enjoyed a glorious predictability. Invariably, Cooter would stab me in the back, Ari would scoop me on my squats, and Mr. Trump would side with Ari. At day’s end I’d drink my sorrows away, then bury my woes, and my face, in mounds of warm, synthetic human flesh.

Then I met Cassandra.

Not a bad day at all. But I ask you: what are the NaNoWriMo-inflicted casualties?

1. Blogging time. I’m dashing this off at 10:47 PM (and counting) and I still need to type up Jake’s homework for tomorrow AND take a shower. Have I had time to visit my friends’ blogs today? Grrrrrr.

2. Politics time. I’m dying to read up on Rule 21, Harry Reid, and the evil Dr. Scalito Loveless — oh, crud. That makes three casualties.

3. My sense of humor. That Scalito Loveless crack verged on the autistic. Do any of you get that joke, or am I stroking myself here? Aw, hell. It has come to this: I’m explaining my jokes.

4. Blog traffic. Oh, well; it’s not like I sell advertisement here.

You’ll notice that I did not put “family time” on the list. I cooked dinner, did the dishes, and played chess with Jake for an hour this evening. So far, so good.

Time to type up homework. I’m teaching him grammar from The Deluxe Transitive Vampire (he likes it a lot better than Strunk and White), and he has moved on from TKAM to Animal Farm. I’m thinking about focusing on revolutions this year. How about George Bernard Shaw’s The Revolutionist’s Handbook? Should be mandatory reading for every ten-year-old boy.

I’m outa here.

D.

Technorati tag: NaNoWriMo