I’ve been watching those old videos. Not sure if it’s a good idea or a bad idea, but it jibes with a conversation that ran through my head the other day. I imagined myself saying to Karen, “I want you back,” but then I thought: no. I want her back. That Karen. Before these last few years.

She hears those thoughts, of course, since after all she’s just a construct in my mind. And she says, “You want the impossible.”

“Yeah,” I say. “I want the impossible.”



  1. Walnut says:

    It’s like you would imagine. There are good days and bad days. More bad days now that I’ve taken myself off trazodone, but I didn’t like the not-feeling-anything business.

    Is anyone still reading this?

  2. Chris says:

    Still reading, Doug. And still wanting the impossible myself.

  3. Walnut says:

    Thank you, Chris. It means a lot to me.

  4. Tracy MacNish says:

    Still reading. Still caring. Wishing you well.

  5. Walnut says:

    Thank you, Tracy.