Balls and Walnuts
more than you ever wanted to know
Too cute not to share
With this morning’s mail, I received a card from one of my patients. She doubles as my surrogate grandma. Here’s her note:
Dear Dr. Hoffman,
When I think of you . . .
“Appreciation” comes in view.
Thank you for your care.
Sending medical samples is kinda rare,
But then, so is a doctor
who can serve up
a wickedly delicious “Latker!”*
P.S. My Yiddish is kind of kiddish.
*Okay, you have to love this forced rhyme: doctor and ‘latker’. She’s referring to my potato pancakes (latkes). Here’s the recipe.
No one has ever written me a poem before.
D.
Oh, so now you want poetry?!? You KNOW mine’s gonna be a limerick.
blue gal:
There once was a man from Nantucket…
Even in ten minutes I can do better than that:
There once was a doctor named Doug(las)
Who caught some kind of terrible bug:
“It is not to my credit
That I never edit,
But my blog is a well-written drug.”
Douglas knows, though the far right objects,
To equate a smart brain with good sex.
So smart women would gape
At his blog, he did Snape!
(For a blogger, that’s pretty complex.)
That furry cute doc with a blog,
Awoke one day in a fog,
Working all night to veto
That a-hole Alito
He prescribed “the hair of the dog.”
That blogger’s short list of wishes:
To eat bagels and lox and knishes,
“And please do not curse
My seven-foot nurse
She’s likely to be my next Mrs. ”
And Douglas, that wonderful lout,
Has groupies that faint, swoon, and shout.
His head he will crop
And abuse Photoshop,
‘Til Fabio eats his heart out.
I am quite proud to know this good man,
And to read him whenever I can.
While there is no debate,
That number one’s Kate,
Blue Gal is his number two fan.
xoxo
Well done. I withdraw in embarrassed silence…
Wow. I hereby (or is it hearby?) push blue gal to the number one fan spot.
You have a gift, woman.
This is going to go to my head, and then I won’t be able to write that post about the joys of poor self-esteem.
As for the number one/number two spot, I’m up for a threesome.
*Sob* But you just love me for my BRAIN!!!
It was a metaphorical threesome, and a rather erudite metaphor at that, ungraspable by the undereducated mind. Jeez! ;o)
Ya see, you try to take on two women and one of ’em is bound to get all emotional on you. Throw in that seven foot nurse and you won’t have eeeny problems.
Rob Courdry for Blue Gal
My problem is, my entire self-image hinges on what women think of me (sorry, Pat & all the other guys). If I went to see Brokeback Mountain, it would only be to impress my wife with what a sensitive, confident-in-my-sexuality guy I am.
Thanks again for the poem, blue gal. Better watch out if Maureen comes ’round — she’ll give you a run for your money ;o)
You really are shameless! I’d write you a poem, Dougie, but you don’t even bother to read my simple, 40 word per day blog. You should, because I expect you’ll appear in in some day.
Gee whiz. I already apologized for not gettin’ round enough this week.
I’m on my way, Mo. Get those poetic gears turning.