Balls and Walnuts
more than you ever wanted to know
This actually happened
A woman complained to her doctor that she suffered from voluminous farts which, paradoxically, (she really said “paradoxically”) had no odor whatsoever. In the exam room, she demonstrated one for him. Tore the table’s white sanitary paper right down the middle.
“Ma’am, I’d like you to see Dr. Hoffman.”
“Is he a stomach specialist?”
“Oh, he’s a specialist, all right.”
After giving me her history, she said, “Here, let me show you.”
“I think I get the –”
But I was too late. Nevertheless, her exemplary fart confirmed the diagnosis. I brought her back for a hearing test and eventually convinced her to buy a pair of hearing aids.
At followup, she said, “Dr. Hoffman, you haven’t helped me one bit. I’m still farting. They still don’t smell, but now they’re so loud they shake the windows.”
“That reminds me.”
“Hmm?”
“We need to schedule surgery for your nasal polyps.”
Honestly, did you ever expect to hear a joke with nasal polyps in the punch line? Hemorrhoids, yes. Anyone can tell a joke about hemorrhoids, but only an ENT can make nasal polyps funny.
I’m in a giddy mood because it’s before 10 PM, I’ve surpassed my NaNoWriMo quota for the day, and I played Stratego with my son. I even watched Evil Dead with him. How’s that for quality father-son time?
Who knows. If I can think up something fun, I might even write another blog entry.
D.
[…] 2. The polyp joke. […]