Monthly Archives: December 2009


What the Oughts wrought

The Oughts brought us the iPod (2001),

ipod

and YouTube (2005),

Hard to believe there was life before YouTube. The Oughts wrought the Wii (2006), the domination of cell phones over landlines, the rise of the GPS . . . and Octomom.

Just. Plain. Wrong.

Just. Plain. Wrong.

While we’re on the topic of fertility, the Oughts wrought Duggars #12-19 (Jason through Josie).

The Oughts wrought 9/11, Chimpie and WMD, Darth Cheney and his shotgun, meltdowns and bailouts, Katrina and Gitmo.

And the Oughts did not wrought blogging, since Open Diary launched in ’98, Live Journal in ’99, and blogger.com in ’99. But the Oughts did wrought this blog, which turns five in March 2010.

I know I’m forgetting a few million other things the Oughts wrought.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

D.

Bragging rights

We got Jake’s first semester report card in the mail today: three As, three A+s, and an A- in PE. Based on the GPA, they clearly don’t count the PE grade towards the GPA. That’s nice.

I resisted the urge to pull the old family joke: “What, only THREE A+s??? Well I guess you’ll have to try harder next time.” Yes, we’re an obnoxious bunch.

The only question remaining (aside from what should we do to celebrate): should we send a photocopy of this report card to the public high school principal who didn’t think Jake could handle trigonometry? Are we above rubbing this jerk’s nose in it?

Probably a waste of time. With his ego, he probably tells himself that the Catholic high school has lower standards.

D.

Troubador to the geeks

More Jonathan Coulton for y’all. He’s right, the mathematics is simple . . . provided you’re comfortable with imaginary numbers.

D.

Currently reading . . .

It’s a curious thing, what holds my attention and what doesn’t. I made it through over 100 pages of Cormac McCarthy’s Blood Meridian before my interest flagged. Only reason I bought it was (A) Michael Chabon raves about it every chance he gets, and (B) I didn’t hate The Road. McCarthy is clearly a competent author. It’s like me and China Mieville: I keep wanting to like the guy, but it’s just not happening for me.

On a bookstore browse I bought Sacred Games by Vikram Chandra. Made it farther on this one: my bookmark is on page 309. Too bad I’m less than 1/3 of the way through. Apparently, this is three novels in one: an Indian gangster bildungsroman (the part I enjoy), a cop story, and something else I haven’t quite figured out. I’m tempted to skip all the other stuff and just read about the gangster, but I’m too OCD for such shenanigans. And so it sits on my TBR (TBF, To Be Finished?) pile.

And then somehow I chanced on John Connolly’s The Gates Of Hell Are About to Open (Want to Take a Peek?), which I admit I bought for the title alone. I’ll probably finish this one, but mostly because of an “I made it this far” mentality. What a disappointment. It’s one of those lonely maladjusted preadolescent boy saves the world from Satan novels, clearly meant to be a YA barnstormer, but Connolly seems to think that if anything bad happens to one of his human characters, his readers will fling the book away in horror. In his reluctance to scare his readers or offend their tender sensibilities, Connolly creates demons that are absolute wimps who can be driven off with bug spray and a fly swatter. Have I said “What a disappointment” yet? Oh, yeah, I have. And it is.

But then Jake finished Christopher Moore’s Coyote Blue, and at last I’m having a good read. But when have I not enjoyed a Christopher Moore novel? Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove was a bit of a snore, but even that one had enough narrative drive to compel me to finish. Really, what’s going on with some of these authors? Doesn’t Vikram Chandra realize that no one is going to finish a 1000 page book if it lacks narrative drive, no matter how well he writes? Yes, yes, it’s about SELLING the book, not getting your readers to finish it.

And this is where you tell me what you’re reading . . . or rather, what you’re going to finish.

D.

A word on lamb

Dinner went over well, I think, and the only reason we have an ass-ton of leftovers is the fact I cooked for eight and there were five us (two of whom have small appetites). But that’s how it always is when I cook for people, there are always leftovers.

For the lamb stew, I knew I would have to take steps to make the lamb less lamby. I was raised on lamb chops so the meat’s gaminess doesn’t bother me. But I know it bothers other people. Figuring that the gamy flavor comes from the fat, the first thing I did was to trim as much fat as possible from my cut, a boned leg of lamb. I cut it into chunks and trimmed away even more fat.

The next thing I did: I macerated the meat in salt, black pepper, red pepper flakes, Spanish smoked paprika, coriander, cumin, lots of cinnamon, and a little bit of allspice and clove. That sat in my fridge for a couple of days. On the morning of the dinner, I floured the pieces and browned them in bacon fat and olive oil. Add some duck stock, a couple of bay leaves, and the diced up piece of bacon that had contributed its fat; bring to a boil. And now the real trick, the whole point of this post: I did a slow simmer in a 220 F oven for 3 or 4 hours.

There were enough spices on the meat that I didn’t need to adjust the seasonings one bit. I prepared my vegies separately (onions, carrots, yams, apricots, which I know are not vegies), added them in towards the end of the cooking time, and garnished with fresh parsley and cilantro.

Oh! The key point. Almost forgot. I poured off all the juices/broth from the meat and separated out all but about two tablespoons of the fat. No lamby gaminess! The meat was fork tender and tasted of lamb, but not overwhelmingly so. The cinnamon and other aromatic spices came through clearly.

Making b’stila with duck confit is probably not worth all the bother. It was better than the chicken version, but not that much better. We’re talking about a dish that’s pretty damned good to begin with. Still, it had been a few years since I had made a confit, and I was curious to try it again. Guess I could have made a duck salad with it. Ah, next time.

D.

The menu

Back in med school, we used to have dinner parties for our friends. A lot of dinner parties. Paul Prudhomme’s barbecue shrimp was a favorite, since it was easy to prepare, tasty, and impressive. Up north, once we’d made some friends who were foodies (and, thus, would reciprocate in kind), we ventured into more elaborate territory — like raviolis in a browned butter and sage sauce.

Tomorrow night, we’re having my partner and his wife over for dinner. Mind you, I like to get complicated just for the fun of it, but it helps my motivation to know that his wife loves to cook. Thus, there’s at least some thin sliver of hope for reciprocation.

Here’s the tentative menu . . .

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The allure of comfort food

This afternoon, I took my son to the doctor’s office to get his flu shots, and afterward we went out to lunch at Tahoe Joe’s. I’ve been gaining weight for the holidays, a lot more than I usually do around Christmas, so I tried to order something skimpy. Soup and salad.

The soup was cream of mushroom, and it diverged but little from the Campbell’s Cream of Mushroom of my childhood. I’m sure I haven’t had this since I was single-digits, and oh boy did it take me back. I had vivid memories of our old home, of the bowl, of the way I would let it cool so that a skin would form on top, and then I’d spoon off the skin (my favorite part) and wait for another skin to form. I remember how the mushrooms were those tiny little cubes. The mushrooms today were actual slices, but other than that, the flavor was identical.

I remembered the black-and-white TV in our den that we’d watch while eating lunch. Remember having to walk up to the TV to change channels? Remember adjusting the rabbit ears?

I used to have Saltines with my soup. Today, no Saltines. I missed them.

Meanwhile, part of me realized that this soup was really vile and that I’d rather be eating any other type of soup. I had hoped for “real” cream of mushroom, you know, the kind of stuff I would make were I to make it at all, but instead the restaurant went for the old familiar. Which was cool in a way, but ultimately yucky.

I didn’t finish it, but I came awfully close.

D.

I’m sorry . . .

. . . but this tickles me.

The creator of this video writes,

The Wilhelm Scream makes these epic movie scenes seem much more polished.

And here’s where it all began.

D.

Why I won’t be seeing Avatar.

Roughly 12 years ago, when director James Cameron first began thinking about the movie Avatar, interested Dipteran scientists downloaded my persona into a six-legged, two-winged biological construct.

I only <em>look</em> like a domestic fly. I'm actually 10 mg of pure, sophisticated intelligence.

I only look like a domestic fly. I'm actually 10 mg of pure, sophisticated intelligence.

My task: to observe and record what transpired at Cameron’s high concept brainstorming session.

My purpose: to exploit rich new sources of bullshit for my Dipteran colleagues.

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There must be a trick

I have a pizza peel. I have a stone. But for the life of me, I can’t get the pizza to slide from peel to stone.

I floured the peel and sprinkled corn meal on it, then checked to see that my dough would slip around okay. It did. I skimped on the tomato sauce, since I can recall problems with a damp, doughy crust when I’ve used too much sauce, and I didn’t want to make the whole thing too heavy (sliding problem, once again). I didn’t particularly care for the idea of adding sauce, cheese, and meat once the dough was already in the oven, since inevitably I give myself a hell of a burn reaching into the oven. So I loaded up my pizza and then tried to slide it off the peel.

No go.

I used a large spatula to loosen the pizza from the peel, working circumferentially to lift every last bit from the wood. It still wouldn’t slide.

Fortunately, I could fold the pizza over and make a calzone, which for some bizarre reason slid very nicely onto the stone. Still, I’d rather have had a pizza. The meat inside a calzone never gets crispy the way pizza meat does.

I’ve become quite good at pizza and focaccia doughs. I start the dough at around noon, first making a sponge of 1 cup of unbleached flour, 1 cup of water, and a packet of yeast. I whisk it up along with a half teaspoon of salt and about a teaspoon of honey. Wait for it to get frothy — about an hour or so at room temperature — then whisk in another teaspoon of honey, half teaspoon of salt, another cup of flour, and a good bit of olive oil, maybe 2 tablespoons. The dough may be a little wet, but that’s okay. You still have another rise to go through. After that, you can turn it out onto a floured wooden board, and as you knead the dough, you can work more flour into it to make something that looks like pizza dough.

If you’re making focaccia, don’t bother kneading or working in extra flour. Turn the moist dough onto parchment paper and use a large plastic spatula to push and pull the dough into the right shape. Add your toppings, then bake at 450 F until done.

Now, if I could get the damn thing to slide off the peel, I’d be in business.

D.

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