Daily Archives: July 9, 2008


We’ve got a hot one

Those nice folks who spent a long time poking around our house last weekend? They’re coming back on Friday for a second look.

Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes . . .

We’ve asked a gardener to come out tomorrow to mow the lawns and neaten stuff up, and we’ve got a housekeeper coming Friday morning to do whatever it is she does (and she does it well, believe me). I wish I could bake a loaf of challah, though, since that makes the house smell so nice. But since I don’t have the time off from work to do something like that, I decided instead to google “tips advice showing your home.”

. . . and discovered this nightmare. And I thought baking challah would be a lot of work. I mean, really:

Make the House Sparkle!

    • Wash windows inside and out.
    • Rent a pressure washer and spray down sidewalks and exterior.
    • Clean out cobwebs.
    • Re-caulk tubs, showers and sinks.
    • Polish chrome faucets and mirrors.
    • Clean out the refrigerator.
    • Vacuum daily.
    • Wax floors.
    • Dust furniture, ceiling fan blades and light fixtures.
    • Bleach dingy grout.
    • Replace worn rugs.
    • Hang up fresh towels.
    • Bathroom towels look great fastened with ribbon and bows.
    • Clean and air out any musty smelling areas. Odors are a no-no.

And that’s just one-tenth of the article.

I have to agree with that last bullet point. When we went house-hunting in Seattle, one otherwise beautiful home had an unaccountable odor in the hallway. Every time I passed through the hallway, I smelled cooked cabbage. The realtor said, “I think they have a dog,” but that means what, exactly? Dog farts don’t linger for hours, do they?

We have a funky smelling bathroom downstairs. Maybe I should go buy some of that smelly crap . . . what’s it called? You know, it has cinnamon and star anise and dried flowers. A bouquet? Gaaaaaah! I am so not up to this task.

Hmmph. How come so many of these advice-givers tell me I have to “disconnect my emotions”? I only have one emotion here: I want to sell this house quickly so that we can buy, not rent, when we get down to Santa Rosa. Or at least, I don’t want to have to rent for more than a few months. And if we have to rent, I want to be in a place like Oakwoods where they have EVERYTHING furnished, so that way I don’t have to unpack anything but clothes. Unpack once, that’s my goal.

Don’t any of these websites provide simple advice to make my home appealing? You know, something I can bake, or spray into the air?

Maybe a potted plant, strategically positioned. That would be easy.

D.