Balls and Walnuts

My wife and sister have complained so much about this procedure that I have made a command decision: I’m going to enjoy this thing.
Stay tuned.
8:00 PM
The instructions said to take three Dulcolax (”dookies,” as we called them in residency) at 8:00 PM, two days prior to the procedure. They have a delightful candy coating, [...]

So (in last night’s little adventure), this man comes to see me because he’s unhappy with the rhinoplasty my partner did for him. This is preposterous on the face of it, because my partner has twenty-five years of cosmetic surgery experience, and I’ve done, what, maybe twelve rhinoplasties in my entire career, ten of those [...]

Great Cowboy Junkies song from the 90s:

I just want to see what kills me. Well, would you? This morning, I learned of the existence of 23 and Me, a company that will do full genotyping of your spit sample for a cheap cheap $99. They’ll check your carrier status for 47 inherited conditions, and your [...]

As any pediatrician will tell you, the scary thing about infants and toddlers is how fast they can go down the tubes. Humans are complex systems held in check by a variety of buffers and homeostatic feedback loops (there! four years of med school in 16 words), and the smaller the human, the more delicate [...]

They like me. They really like me.
Here at California’s biggest and best HMO, physicians put in three years before they make partner. Partnership means a little more money and a lot more job security. Job security is, of course, worth far more than that little bit of extra money.
Some (like Karen) would say that there [...]

As I think I might have mentioned, one of the reasons I haven’t been around much (aside from the usual reasons of the family, the WiP, and career stuff) is my dad’s health, which has meant two trips to Vegas in the last six weeks or so.
One of the things I’ve noticed, both in [...]

Lately, I’ve been using this new product in my facial recon work — pig basement membrane, which takes the place of an autogenous skin graft. The sales rep was in the OR today, and I guess he was trying to impress me, because he’d google me (I guess) and wanted to let me know how [...]

Luke writes:
I just came across the boogers blog and I think it’s great. Is that you? Can I ask a related (and kind of gross) question here? For the last two weeks I’ve been sick with either a cold or a sinus infection and I’ve been producing copious amounts of mucus in my sinuses. A [...]

I’m up to 23 tongue depressors. Still can’t open my mouth as wide as Karen (I’m betting she could fit at least 30 to 32 tongue depressors) but 23 is much better than 12, which is where I was stuck about one week ago. I’m thinking that this IMO (intermaxillary opening — doctor jargon that [...]

do we resemble the esteemed Dr. Benway.

Ah, Burroughs, I love him. An essential member of the “if you could invite any three historical figures to dinner” club. (Let’s see . . . how about Burroughs, Ghandi, and Machiavelli?)
D.